Valuing Me

I learned -- or should I say put into practice -- a valuable lesson this week. 

I took action against a situation where I was undervaluing myself. 

It may not sound like much, and it may not sound like rocket science. But I was feeling pretty down about finances and my career path, and after I decided to stop being mad and take some action, I mulled over a few things that have become habit for me. The major one is a monthly visit to a good friend, where I do bookkeeping work. Now, you might be saying hey, you’re a writer, why are you doing book work? Good question. I finally got around to asking it myself.

This bookkeeping work is a 2-hour drive. Before you think I’m seriously out of my mind, l have to add that there is some history here. The work is also benefitting me on another level, with some fictional research. But two hours is two hours, and two hours both ways is four hours. Add in the time I’m there working, and I have myself another 8-hour day. 

I questioned my pay to my friend. It took him over a week to respond to me, and he rejected my request for more money.

The old me would’ve said, ok, fine, I can use the money, I’ll still keep it up. The new me thought about it, called my accountant, and ran numbers. I told my accountant some of the writing jobs I have. He calculated. He told me that according to his numbers, if I got in gear and got more freelance work, driving up to do this job would be insane. He told me what I already know. And he is also friends with this friend I work for on the side, so I know he’s not just siding with me because he’s my accountant. 

So by my request, I have put this side job on notice. I have also put myself on notice to take my freelance writing even more seriously, because ultimately, I want to be working for myself, in charge of my own days, my own income, my own financial freedom. I don’t want to depend on others. I want to value myself.

This week, I took the first step. And it felt good.