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viewsFacebook Friends....or Foes?
By writergirlliz, Friday, June 26, 2009, 2 commentsI like social media as much as the next guy. I love Twitter, I think LinkedIn is very useful -- but Facebook? I kind of hate it, to be honest.
I have a hard time with having personal stuff on a page where professional people constantly want to add me, or I want to add them. I have issues mixing the two. And I don't know how to break off from the personal to the professional without offending. But what really gets me is when people try to friend me that haven't talked to me in years, and try to use FB like some kind of white flag when really, I think they just want to know what I'm up to.
Example: My former neighbor/former best friend recently attempted to friend me. Some background: She was very involved during my divorce, usually in a supportive way. She was also involved in an incident, after I moved to another state, during which she was part of a group where someone blabbed to my ex about where I'd moved -- after his sanity had been in question. After she had opened her door to me at 2 a.m. during one scary incident. After she knew how badly I needed to do what I did. And, she also blamed me for the fact that my ex used her as a dumping ground -- and she allowed it.
So, did I want her friending me on FB? No. Did I ignore? Yes. I do wonder about her motives, though. Curious? Misses me? Sorry? All of the above?
Guess I'll never find out. Am I wrong? Anyone else have FB issues like this?
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2 Comments
I hear ya!
Sarcasm, just another service we offer. Aren’t you glad you asked?
I too have friends that have royally screwed me in the past and now suddenly want to be Facebook buddies. I love your analogy of waving a white flag, but like the sentiment, I too feel that neither the flag nor the sincerity really exist. And for those "friends" who bore me with 4000 pictures of their kids on a daily basis or inane comments about the minute/hour/day they are having, I have discovered the "unfriending" process. Works like a charm. - LL
Nail on the head
You hit it. Nice post. I have recently gone on an "unfriending"/request-ignoring/feed-"hiding" spree. I felt guilty at first. But now, not so much. People have all kinds of strange motives for friending someone, it seems. Two increasingly common phenomena I've run into (And maybe you, too?): (1) The lonely guys in foreign countries who contact you in broken English after scanning their friends' list of friends. (2) People who barely know you but want to add you as a friend to pad their own obscenely large list of friends. It seems like people are starting to live their lives with a hyper-consciousness of how (insert activity) will look displayed on their FB page. (ie: "Look everyone. I drank alcohol in a group. See? Photos to prove it.")
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