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viewsSame Sex Marriage
By Bad Wife Writes, Friday, May 29, 2009, 4 comments
Honestly I try to write about only things I know, which this isn’t really one of them. However, there’s so much going on with it that I feel I need some type of opinion about it. I guess the main reason I haven’t really formed an opinion on it is b/c I’m a little conflicted on it.
So is the push for gay marriage about changing the face of family and marriage in a progressive sense? Is it simply inevitable change that will better the world and help to create more freedom and harmony? Or is it an unnecessary step in the wrong direction? Of course part of me sees the first half as they answer, but there is still a small part of me that thinks it may be the second. Why? The argument stands in the fact that maybe it’s simply the definition of marriage and its purpose that is the reason for all the conflict right now? I definitely don’t think it’s fair that marriage produces legalities that are partial to only them or certain rights. However if another union could be formed between any two people that helped to produce those same rights, then why would the “traditional” marriage be necessary? Isn’t marriage a traditional lifestyle, therefore why would anyone with an alternative lifestyle seek it in the first place?
I guess my conflict does really lie within my definition of marriage and seeing it as a traditional step towards helping to uphold the family unit with children. Many women and families don’t necessarily need marriage in those ways anymore, yet it’s still there if you need it kind of thing. Otherwise I see marriage as more of a status symbol like a car in your driveway, house or degree. I guess in that way, it could be a free for all. Maybe it’s the communication to yourself, your partner and to the world that this is your ultimate love in life and therefore people shouldn’t be denied? If children are involved, I do see marriage as a good thing for all, then the question of course goes to is a gay couple a good adopting option? More so than a man and a woman? Who makes all these rules really and since we don’t really know, who can really tell people what they are or are not allowed access to?
My personal opinion with gay people raising children is that it’s less about the sex and more about the person. However, I do feel that it’s important for a child to be able to identify with someone of the same sex…or maybe it isn’t. We could end up with a more gender neutral society. Isn’t that the direction we are headed with races? Don’t we see more blended races than ever and isn’t that a good thing?
Hmmm…as you can tell – from this post, I’m a little more confused about my feelings than ever – but I will bring it back to the point that I think our ability to encourage same sex marriages really boils down to what our views and definition of marriage are in the first place.
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4 Comments
I'll weigh in with my
I'll weigh in with my thoughts, although I must warn you that my point of view is definitely on the liberal side of the house. =) In my opinion, there are so many children in this world who need loving homes to be raised in, so it shouldn't matter if they are raised in single parent, heterosexual or gay households. As long as the parent(s) are willing, able, capable and pass all of the background checks, my feeling is that the children will be much better off in loving homes than in foster care, orphanages, etc. (My family took care of foster children when I was younger and it breaks my heart to think that there are so many children out there without people to love them.)
I try to live my life by not judging others. In my opinion, who am I to tell anyone else how to live their lives or what's right for them? I saw an episode of Larry King Live this week where he had different members of the religious community on talking about the Prop 8 ban being upheld in California. While I am not religious, I thought that one of the guests said something that, I think, should resonate with people. He said that "god is love and love is god." He went on to say that we are all supposed to love each other and how can we possibly tell anyone else who they should love. (It was much more profound than what I've described, so I'd recommend that you watch this episode if you can.)
I think that anyone who wants to get married should have the right to. The only limits I see are when it comes to age issues (minors) or some family issues (i.e. cousins, although this is hotly debated too). I also have a hard time getting beyond marriage being between two people and not a man with ten wives or plural marriage. I do think that we need to have some laws to protect society in certain cases, but when it comes to gay marriage, I don't understand what the big deal is. If you found your soul mate and wanted to marry them, but weren't allowed to because they happened to be your same gender, I just think it's wrong. It reminds me of a time in our history when interracial couples couldn't marry. So again, some restrictions do make sense, but I don't feel that gay marriage should be in that category.
Anyway, I'm sure that you will come to the conclusion that is right for you over time. The best thing you can do is to educate yourself, talk to different people, learn different perspectives and then you'll know what the right decision is for you on this, or any issue. Good luck with your decision. =)
elizabeth cassidy, CC
elizabeth cassidy, CC Certified Life and Career Coach www.BranchingOutLifeCoaching.com
I think Melissa put it brilliantly. As someone who knows and has known gay people in my work life and professional life, the one thing that we all in common is that we are just people- some good, some not so good.
I think when we deny people the same rights we take for granted that we b dimish our goodness.
The reason they 'seek it in
The reason they 'seek it in the first place' is because along with a 'legal union' comes certain legal rights - for example, when one dies, the other partner should have the right to all the assets & insurance collected over the course of the relationship. Right now - as I understand it - they don't have that right, for the most part. That seems so unfair to me! And as far as children are concerned - why keep a child in the 'system' when a loving & capable couple would like to give that child a home? That is another issue that keeps popping up. Additionally, when one partner is in a life threatening situation - most states will not recognize the partner as the decision maker and ask for a 'family member'. How insulting. You've lived with someone for 5, 15, 25 years and the hospital tells you that you cannot make this life-saving decision for them.
Additionally - I do not believe the majority should be making decisions for the minority. Dangerous territory...and yet, that's where things stand right now. VERY thought provoking subject, right? GREAT POST! thanks for putting this up! Cher ~~~www.playwrightchick.blogspot.com
I just saw Tori & Dean last
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