Me, Myself & I

I don’t know many people here in Charlotte . What can I say, with three kids and writing, you don’t get out much. I’m not a total hermit. I have my inner circle, the problem is that every once in awhile that’s not enough. Maybe being a little too picky is a problem for me as well. When it comes to friends, I can be a little discriminating. To some that would be a good thing, to other, not so good. I’m sure if I just opened myself up more, stopped thinking so much and just let go, I would gain more contacts that would be helpful for the direction I want my life to take. I mean, let’s face it, friends are not one size fits all. Meaning, we are each unique in our own way and there will (fortunately) never be a carbon copy of ourselves that we will find in a friend. We may come close, but having multiple friends that can share in the multiple aspects of your life and who actually have the time in their own lives to do so is the best answer. Usually it works out best that you enjoy certain things with certain people. For example, I have some friends that share my creative side, some friends share my maternal side, some friends share my chatty side yada yada. So friends are great, but every once in awhile, you don’t have any. They are all off playing in their own lives doing their own thing. This can be true in other relationships like the one’s with a significant other or your kids. Maybe in fact you’ve subconsciously alienated all of them, just so you would be faced with your needed, but not necessarily wanted, alone time.

So I here I have something that I really want to go to. I’m a big girl now. No longer young enough to say that I just won’t go because I have no one to go with. I must suck it up and know that I will enjoy the experience just as much as I would with someone…if I can just stop thinking about it. You know what I’m talking about. That animalistic nature of spotting someone out that is by themselves and not part of the heard. There must be something wrong with them, they must be a weakling dying of some unknown virus and therefore their heard has abandoned them. Yes, this is the logical and rational thinking that keeps us one step away from our ancestors that lived in caves.

I used to have a girlfriend that couldn’t stomach shopping by herself, that never bothered me. However, it wasn’t until just a few ago, that I had ever experienced going to a movie by myself. I still haven’t sat down and ate by myself.

But tonight, there is something I want to do and there isn’t anyone available. So I will date myself tonight and not allow all of these insecurities and fear to deter me or take away from my enjoyment. I will take one for the team and hope that when people see a very vibrant, attractive, healthy and worthy lady by herself, that it will inspire them as well to do and enjoy more things by themselves.