It's happened...

You know they say that people don't change...yes they do. Maybe the inner part of who they are and their overall personalities stay the same but often the winds of people's lives do help to shape and mold them. It doesn't happen overnight, but just like anything in nature that's exposed to the elements, we humans do change. Our opinions change, our situations and lives change and even innate animal instincts and habits change.

As I've gotten older, I know that I love many things about myself. But their are some things that I definitely want to change. There were many years growing up where I did not emotionally connect with the people in my life. Hell, half of my highschool experience, I don't even remember. I've always been the type to hold in feelings, show little to no emotion and took certain personality traits to be strengths rather than weaknesses.

But as I get older and I really begin to look at my life, the people in it and the relationships in it, I begin to see how this shield may protect me, but being protected and safe doesn't allow me to fully live. If you take away the pain, you take away the joy - it's really that simple. I heard Oprah (who I always looked up to/admired and respected) say how "love doesn't hurt" - but sometimes it does. Sometimes life is painful and if we don't listen to that pain or experience it, we can never grow into what we are meant to be or experience.

So as I get older - I seem to have become a mush in many ways. Where I was desensitized, I am in many ways, now sensitive. Where I once would never shed a tear, I now allow myself to cry freely. Often where there is pain, there is freedom on the other side.