Sick of My Dieting Mind

Since I was 19 (now 43) I have been on some sort of diet. I don't like to use that word anymore because I am sick of it so now I simply say "eating plan!"

I wake up and in my mind I am always thinking about what I will eat for the day and prepare for any obstacles. I know this is a healthy habit to stay on track with my weight, but I am sick of always thinking about food and my body. It is borderline obsessive and gets boring day in and day out. Do you know what I mean?

I don't have any eating disorders, I eat very healthy most of the time, and I exercise so in the grand scheme of general health, I am almost an A!

But, I wonder if there will ever be a morning, afternoon or evening that I forget about my next snack or meal and just go with the flow. At my old age and with my health habits already in place, I doubt that moment is close on the horizon.

I accept that this is my mindset because I don't have much of a choice right now. My "dieting mind" is me and makes me the person I am today. It keeps me in my sassy jeans and cute tank tops and makes me feel secure when I walk into a room...but you better be damn sure I am not looking at the table in the room with chips and cheese queso with a sad face, HA!  Don't get me wrong I allow for cheats and splurges to help me not be too crazy in the head, but my will power now is extreme and I will not budge unless it's planned.

Some of y'all might be jealous of this control but don't be. It's kinda sicko and I just wish my "dieting mind" would take a nap sometimes!!!