All The Single Ladies

During a recent visit to a nice neighborhood lounge in Castleberry Hill I was not surprised that out of the 20 people in the room and at the bar there were only 2 men in the vicinity. Granted the ratio of women to men in the Atlanta metro area is relatively high, it has occurred to me that some people find it peculiar when they meet a young lady who is over the age of 30, unmarried, and without children. For some it’s not only curious, but problematic. After all, if 30 is the new 20, then the age that one decides to settle down should not really be an issue. I mean, it only seems logical to date until you find the right person then to settle for a life of misery with the wrong one, right?
 
Whatever happened to dating for the fun of it and getting to know a person as a friend first? When did dating become a timed Olympic sport? It seems to me that when a woman becomes a certain age everyone seems to be bound and determined to drag her down the aisle and marry her off to the first available, decent looking bloke who will agree. At every social event with people you have not seen in a while, the main questions that everyone asks are, “How have you been?” followed by, “So, when are you going to get married, have kids, (READ)—get a life?” 
 
Do not get me wrong, I am not against marriage or children… I just do not believe in rushing because society says that those are things that I should do at this stage in life or because of some perceived notion of a ticking biological clock. I find it amusing that some men think that when a woman is unencumbered by domesticity after 30, “there must be something wrong,” or, my personal favorite, “women over 30 behave suspiciously crazy.” Its all hog wash and lies, I say. 
 
It has been my observation that people who wait until later to marry and have children seem to be much more content with their lives and choices; dare I say, grateful. Not all, but many of my friends who married in their 20s are sublimely miserable, all they do is complain, and are barely hanging on to their unions by a thread. They make marriage seem like a never-ending pity party. Family is important, I know, and I’m going to have one someday.      
 
I must admit that I am somewhat disturbed that my family, despite all of their conservative preaching about waiting until after college to get married and have babies, seems to have suddenly adopted the new school of thought that one does not need a husband in order to start a family.  Everyone seems to be incessantly drumming their fingers, looking at their watches and at me, as if to say, "So, when do you think you plan to push a couple of kids out?"  Err.. (scratching my head in confusion) are you kidding me?  Trust me, I know very intimately the sacrifices that had to be made by mother and child growing up in my single parent household. Plus, every girlfriend that I have who is a member of the single mommy club all agree on two things: 1.They love their children and 2. The next time they get impregnated they will NOT be going to task alone.   I refuse to sign myself up for long, lonely, sleepless nights of caring for my baby in the nursery with no one else to depend on.  I even have some married friends who say that when it comes to child rearing they feel like they are doing it all alone.  I say, no thanks.  This brings me back to my original point; when selecting “The One,” it only make sense to take the time to choose wisely, no matter how long it takes.