Hey Baby, It's Cold Outside

With my scarf wrapped around my neck twenty-seven times, boots up to my knees, gloves and hoodie underneath my big leather jacket the dog and I dragged ourselves out into the bitter winter morning. Our first walk of the New Year. The cookies, candy canes, chocolates and molasses and peanut butter treats have made us a bit sluggish. We are a couple of lazy slugs quite frankly. It was time to get back into our usual routine. All my pants are too tight and the dog is bouncing off the walls when she’s not taking a nap.

The last time we ventured out it was unseasonably warm but now the day after our first artic blast, adjustments needed to be made. Last night I found a pair a boots I deemed acceptable to walk in and big thick socks. The boots proved to be useless as they had no traction whatsoever and the dog literally dragged me for almost the entire walk. I lost my footing a few times and I’m quite certain pulled several muscles in my back.

Long johns or thermal long underwear, I need a pair of those. My thighs, I fear, will never be warm again. At one point they almost stopped working or forgot how to move or were just starting to freeze in place. And at about this time my thick socks that started up at mid-calf had slipped down around my ankles and making their way under my heels therefore hindering our progress even more. I fished around in my pockets and found a tissue, my nose was running.

While obsessing over myself I realized the dog had stopped pulling. I praised the Lord above and looked down at her to ask her not to poop. She looked up at me and raised her left paw. Ice had wedge in the crevices and she whimpered.

“We are out of shape and ill equipped, I blame myself.” I told her as I wiped the snow from her paw and warmed it in between my gloved hands.

“We’re getting new boots, both of us, with traction and maybe we can get them to match. You and I will set a trend in the neighborhood, matching pink bunny foo foo boots with floppy ears and tassels.” We were delirious at this point of our walk and just hoping we could make back to the safety of our warm home. Where the showers were hot and the cookies waited.