Epic Love Letter

I remember every first with you; every tiny detail. I pull them down from the shelves of my collective memory and play them over and over for comfort, I hold onto them with all of my might; for this succession of to many moments of being apart breaks my heart every day that I am not holding your hand. Those memories and your voice reminding me of how much you love and adore me, get me through.

 Life is not as meaningful without the little things we used to share. I keep my eyes on the horizon, encouraging myself. I will myself in the direction of a future with you fervently, because I have experienced life without you in it every day, and I can’t go back to being the same woman I was before we met. I am changed. You have moved my spirit. Changed the course of my onward marching momentum, I dare say, you have brought it to a screeching halt.

And, there I stand in the middle of this hypothetical interstate, eyes wide and my mind shell shocked from how absolutely amazing you are. And, I fear no oncoming disasters. Because I feel so safe in loving you, so strong and impenetrable because of how I know that you love me too.

I thought; no person exists for me. I had thought about once, after hearing a story in church, of laying a pair of pants out on my bed and praying to God, he fill them. Only fill them with the one I am to spend the rest of my life with. I never found the courage to because I felt I wasn’t ready yet, not for someone special, but as a woman. I needed to experience a few more facets of life, solve a few mysteries, unlock a few more doors, which lead into the deepest depths of my spirit. So that I’d know myself and what I wanted, what I needed the most, how exactly, I am capable of loving; not only myself but the person that was meant for only me.

I was beginning to doubt that-that person was ever created. Now, having met you, falling in love with you… I am changed in so many spectacular ways because of you. I, like you, fall in love more and more daily. I feel we have done everything so right, so carefully. Waiting for you to open up to me completely, and trust me is worth every second. I know that the reward is far greater than the annoyance. I cherish you for so many reasons. Being in love with you is a bit harder to describe in that it is so deeply imbedded within me. I love you from my soul. It doesn’t get any truer than that.

On to the list…

1.      You are my sunshine.

2.      My only Sunshine.

3.      You make me happy when skies are grey.

4.      I know you know dear, how much I love you.

5.      If you ever take my sunshine away, I’ll hunt you down and abduct you and tie you to a chair in my basement where you’ll live as my love slave; and if you get rowdy with me and try to rebel, I’ll roofie you with some belladonna and we’ll play rumplestilskin for all of eternity.

6.      So don’t ever take my sunshine away!

7.      Your eyes are gorgeous!

8.      I heart your smile.

9.      I love your laugh. (It doesn’t happen enough.) We must change that.

10.  You are sexy and your face is mesmerizing.

11.  I love making love to you.

12.  I love how you make love to me.

13.  I love your sense of humor. (Mostly)  :/

14.  I love how interested you are in picking my brain.

15.  I love how open you are to trying new things, or atleast learning about them.

16.  I love that you have goals. (and look forward to helping you achieve them)

17.  I love that we have so many things in common.

18.  I love that you find me amusing, and laugh at my jokes or me… even when I’m not trying to be funny.

19.  I know I have made you scratch your head a few times and you still love me. J

20.  I love how I can be absolutely who I am and you love it. (except for the wearing dresses       -gag me with a spoon.)

21.  I love how kind you are.

22.  I love you unselfish you are.

23.  I love how you are nothing like anyone I have ever known.

24.  I love how you adore me.

25.  I love how you try.

26.  I love you just because you are who you are. But I know there are so many more layers, and I look forward to knowing you on a deeper and more meaningful level, that only comes with time and being together.

27.  I love how reasonable you are. (Don’t make me regret saying that in 5 years.) lol

28.  I love that you are such a mystery and loathe it all at the same time.

29.  I love you because you are selfless.

30.  I love you because there are things that I understand about you and you don’t ever have to utter a word of it to me, I love you enough to pay attention to every Moment, in your life.

31.  I love you because you have made us your life.

32.  I love you because I know, that with you, we are your priorities, and we will never be without.

33.  I love you because you are so dependable.

34.  I love knowing without a doubt, that I have a person that is in my corner, and loves me to.

35.  You are my heart and my soul.

36.  I am so proud to have you by my side.

37.  I love going to sleep beside you.

38.  I love waking up next to you. I can’t wait to wake up beside you every day for the rest of my life, and in our own home at that.

39.  I love you because you are a realist, but a dreamer, like me. However, my head is further in the clouds than yours, and it shows, often… haha

40.  I am always going to be there for you.

41.  The day that I broke up with you because of my fears and insecurities about you, and us, and you stepped out of the truck and gave me a hug and told me that if we needed anything, just let you know. I drove away pretty positive that I had made a massive mistake. I cried, really, really hard. I didn’t really want to do it.

42.  Life without you now, is not an option.

43.  I am committed to you.

44.  I am devoted to you, us, and a future together.

45.  I find you so very incredibly sexy.

46.  I am miserable without you.

47.  I love how supportive you are.

48.  I love how attentive you are.

49.  I love how you are making more of an effort to talk about what’s going on inside.

50.  You are my best friend. And, having your love and devotion, is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I am so grateful to have been blessed with a man like you. I love you.