Girlfriends...Life...Womenfriends!

There are so many things I love about women. Well, at least those nearest my age. I tend to get impatient with the 20 somethings, all their primping and expectations that they will be revered for their looks for years to come, forgetting that once they reach their 30s and are taking on “real life,” brains suddenly seem to matter more – and yet, many have no idea how to deal with that. Because there is always someone younger, cuter and more entertaining. Breaking up with a two-week “hookup” is sad, but having your husband of 30 years walk out on your and your kids is, well, truly life altering. (Though I do remember thinking I’d never get over deciding to leave my high-school sweetheart, until I met my next “boyfriend” a week later!)

 
I see the facebook pictures of “hot” young girls I know and wonder, WHY? Why are you only showcasing your looks? Is that all you have to offer? Mmm. I mean, all their chatters about getting drunk, being so busy with school that they can’t do anything else, and generally complaining about the “hard” days that are just a part of life. It cracks me up because they are truly serious about their life’s supposed tribulations, but it makes me sad at the same time.
 
I remember being anything other than the age I am now. Life and my “looks” were there for the taking and 36-hour days were nothing. I never complained, I just enjoyed the flow and the ability to stay up all night, nights on end, without looking bagged and haggard, something an older body just can’t control.  During those young years, I bought into the fact that blonde hair, big boobs, a fun personality and doing a zillion things a minute were cool. And they were! Now that I’m older (not in my mind), but definitely in my years, I want to scream “Noooo!”
 
This is not the way you should live your life! Don’t count on your looks or complain that working 20 hours a week or going to school is “tough.” It’s NOT, compared to actually working to make money for your family or yourself --  and your looks won’t count later on, truly. Well, they will when you age gracefully and with the wisdom that will frequently be sought out by others who used to be the age you are now.
 
One day, those flirty little eyes and cami’s that you always seem to wear out in public no matter what the occasion, just won’t work. Those eyes will sink, the cami’s will fail to hold up and you will feel like a fool (unless you get breast implants…which still won’t help the brain part). Right now, it might be cute that you can’t distinguish between a state and a country (Kelly Pickler anyone?), but when you are nearing or over 30? It won’t be funny anymore.  
 
So, have your fun, look cute in tight trampy clothes and brag about hangovers (why anyone does that, I have no idea…well, I do remember, but still) while honing your inner “older” woman, to face the day when all that is OVER. Right. I know it means nothing now, but trust me, it will someday. I only wish I learned this trick years ago.
 
At this point in my life, I feel a lot younger that I am. I look “ok” for my age, but those feelings don’t compare to the strength and wisdom I gain from  like-aged, or older women friends who have “been there, done that.” I haven’t laughed or cried as hard when I was younger, as I do now with my girlfriends. I never sought out “sage” advice when I was younger either, because I thought I knew it all.
 
Well I didn’t then, and I still don’t. All I know is that really good women friends rock and they change as your life does…they understand issues such as unruly teens, unsuccessful adult kids, divorces, anxiety, anti-aging, cancer, women’s equality, “old men” husbands, dating at “this age,” starting over, settling for less than they deserve, death, loneliness and a host of other things, yet remain young, intelligent women at heart. They dress without rules while embracing the lessons learned with humor and grace. They also understand what it’s like to FEEL younger than actual years, based on life experiences without giving a shit as to what other people think.
 
My girlfriends now, at this REAL stage of my life, mean so much more to me than when I was younger. Nope, knowing this now probably wouldn’t have changed my thoughts or actions back then…but I’ve experienced enough to know better. I wouldn’t replace my girlfriends today for anything, even though they are miles away.  Just something to keep in mind as you shimmy and shake your way through your pretty years today. Enjoy them. Really…but also start to cultivate those friends that you can envision being with you for the long haul. They are priceless and irreplaceable.