A hard or an easy 50

I remember laying in bed at my parent's home talking to my mom. We were spying on my uncle as he tried to make moves on the next door neighbor. I remember seeing the lights on next door as my cousin ,Lydia worked into the night to save the flowers that I had not taken care of properly. I remember - The night before my grand mother had watched a stripper tie me into knots as he bared more than just his soul.  It was also the weekend I learned that  my father and brother were apparently the world's best in-laws. Still not sure what exactly happened at that bachelor party. Probably best that I don’t know.

That saturday afternoon I was marrying a man that I had known less than 16 months. Someone that from the moment we first spoke to each other I had referred to as "the husband”. So as not to be confused with - the other men in my life, sugar daddy, plaything and the boyfriend. Iin my defense it was the first time in history that  I was actually dating. Did not last long ;-)

The six months leading up to this date had surprised everyone , including me. I really thought that I would be a bridezilla. To be honest, I had been planning my wedding since I was 12 years old – the only thing missing was the husband . I had been looking forward to the day for over 15 years, it was my special day to be the bell of the ball. The husband was an accessory, mind you a necessary accessory , but an accessory all the same.

But then something happened.. I met a man and for once in my life I saw the marriage not just the wedding. I wanted to grow old with this man… I would have( dramatic pause) eloped with him if he had asked. Mine you I would have insisted that I wore my fabulous wedding dress – shit I had worked way too hard for the body to pull it off .  The point... I was content to have the wedding of everyone else’s dream – you want steak and salmon… cool, drums and jumping the broom – fine with me . I honestly did not care – I was thrilled to have this man in my life and scarier yet – he was thrilled to have me. He was head over heels in love with my high maintence, moody, Polly Anna self and counted himself luck for taking me off the market. Loves a wonderful thing.

So here I am seven years later – a drop in the bucket for some , a lifetime for others. I ask my self what advice would I have given that women – so in love that she could not keep the smile off her face.

1) Run… kidding

2) Marriage is hard , but so worth it

3) Do not expect anyone to meet all your needs – that is still your job

4) Enjoy the small moments because it really is what makes marriage great

5) You thought you were marrying a man just like your dad – but actually he's just like your mom (believe me that is a good thing)

6) Loving someone is a given - liking someone a completely different story .

7) NO matter what good intentions you have – he will only change when and if he’s ready

8) And yes the ideas he presents to you are the same ideas you told him 6 months ago… take it as a compliment that he is listening even if he never gives you credit

9) It okay that he comes after the girls and the dog – just make sure the order rotates frequently

10) And last spooning is the best way to reconnect – do it often

I think that is it . At 3:30 pm on Saturday - June 14th. I married a wonderful , stubborn, pain in the butt individual that loves me beyond belief. A man that would die for me , but at the same time  would auction me off to the highest bidder for an extra of hour sleep. I married a man that knows way too much about my past and firmly believes I can have and do anything with my/our future.

On this day I married a man that did not run for the hills when I said-  "listen we can do a hard or an easy 50... your choice, but either way we are doing 50+ years,  because this is truly till death do us part understand….

His only reply – "I'm in!"

Happy anniversary – honey

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