The Case of the Industrial Band-Aids

Pregnancy is overrate – this coming from a woman who is giving birth in less than 6 weeks. Everyone keeps telling me I look great – “you’re carrying so well” – this may or may not be true. I don’t really care…

Nor do I care that I cannot longer wear my rings because my fingers have swollen, or that I have three pair of pants I can wear to work, or that my child does aerobics every couple hours in her current home. No, the worse part of pregnancy for me is the fact that I cannot longer see certain body parts.

Why is this important, because I was rather fond of these body parts.

Two days ago – my underwear started rubbing my thighs – so when I walked it created sore spots. My brilliant idea – add band-aids. I go to the first aid chest in the break room- get two industrial strength Band-Aids and make my way to the bathroom –

Now the fun part….I cannot see where the sore spots are so I feel for where it hurtsand stick the band-aids on. Victory– the Band-Aids are basically where they belong – when I walk the sore spots are no longer rubbing together. I am impressed by resourcefulness …until later that evening when I try to take them off. Remember, I used industrial strength band-aids... so these things are stuck, they are not going anywhere. I cannot see where they are and on top of that… I do not have enough leverage to just yank them off. I have been trying for TWO days to get these things off – I have tried baby oil , soap & water… I was going to cut it –but quickly decided against that.

So here I am on day three – eventually I am going to break down and ask my lovely husband to remove these band-aids. It is bad enough that he’s having a hard time finding me sexy at this stage. He keeps having flash backs of my 1st delivery. I am now about to spread my legs and have him remove band-aids – not the most ideal form a fore-play for an already squish husband.

At this rate I can add no sex to the list of reasons why pregnancy is overrated.