Autobiography of a Face

At last! It took me a minute to realize and accept that the first book was going to be a bit depressing, and still, knowing that, I believe it to be a perfect opportunity to open our eyes to the sometimes unspeakable conditions that people around us might be living in/through. This book, already, has made me grateful. I am still a little unsure how all of this will pan out, and, as you all know, I want this to be a pleasurable experience, less like a class, more like a discussion. For the moment, I will touch on the passages that stood out to me, commenting on them, and then allowing everyone to either address those, or bring up other sections that made an impression on them. Let’s get started.

~In Chapter One, I found “it” almost immediately. On page 15, while talking about the games turning “official” in elementary school, and her seeming ability to turn into a “spaz” the minute someone blew the whistle, Grealy speaks of knowing in her heart that she really had great potential. “star potential even.” I found it interesting simply because I believe that we, as human beings, have the ability to do so much more than we actually accomplish in our lifetimes. Whether through lack of training, parental guidance, money, motivation, etc., I think that we seldom tap into the bottomless reserve of ability that we possess. Do you think we do all that we are capable of doing?

I also liked the simple image Grealy evoked when, describing her struggle with her first operation, someone placed “his” hand on her forehead. She said “this lasting gesture calmed me instantly.”  Is there something, possibly from your childhood, that calms you? A song, a word, an action....tell me about it.

~Chapter 2

I was moved by Grealy’s description of her brothers, and their disdain for anything American.  “Don’t be so American. How American. That’s so American.”  What does that mean to you? Is it a bad thing? A good thing? Can it be both?

In reference to her experience with Derek and the animals, she says that “it was the adventure I’d been waiting for all my life.” Does your adventure have a face? A name? My adventure is nameless, without a title or script, and though there are few details I can actually put my finger on, it is there. Talk to me about yours. If you do not have one, this is a perfect opportunity to create it.

~ Chapter 3

I like Mary. I like her no BS attitude and her honesty in the most difficult of circumstances. I think Grealy appreciated the fact that Mary didn’t treat her like a child with cancer, but more like a human being that needed to know the layout of the rough road ahead. As a shy and homely child, people my overprotective family coddled me, protecting me from the judgement that surrounded my“nerdness” which, in the end, made me feel even more left out. I now attempt  to live my life as honestly (especially with my children, and after a couple of “learned my big lesson” screw ups) as I possibly can, simply because I think life requires it, if you want to turn out fairly normal.....whatever that means.

~My question from this chapter comes from Lucy’s first encounter with the idea of death. Her sister, having explained the process with glee, “implanted”  a deep fear and obsession within her sister, something that seemed to take over her thoughts and even her dreams. I remember as a child, being terrified of the idea of not my death, but that of my parents. I would be unable to fall asleep at night thinking not only of ways to keep them safe, but also how I would survive if I woke up one day and found them both dead. What would I eat? How would I get to school? Who would hug my brother enough to make it all okay? After having children, that fear was replaced, or I should say the faces of my parents were replaced with those of my babies. I sometimes live inside days of worrying about things beyond my control. It has taken much effort for me to learn how to turn those thoughts off.  What was/is your deepest fear, the one you don’t talk about at dinner parties? How do you fight it and win?

I cannot wait to get your thoughts on these and other things, my friends. Choose one, or do as I just did, and write your book here. Go.

~Pamela