The Last Dress

December 26, 2000, the day after Christmas. My mother and I had just spent the night lounging next to our friend's fireplace sipping hot chocolate on a sheepskin rug. In a weeks time I would be moving to New Haven, Connecticut. Christmas was wrapped up and I was moving on. My mom and I pulled out onto the only major highway in my hometown. As the right blinker flashed, we saw a horrible car accident to our left. The wet snow had made the roads slick. As we looked at the multiple flashing lights, we said a little prayer.

One week prior to this moment I was in Macy’s getting some last minute shopping done. My high school friend and former college roommate, Liz, worked there. She was straightening sweaters and I was admiring a pale gold dress that looked angelic. “I HAVE TO HAVE THIS!” I said to Liz. She rolled her eyes and said, “You want everything!” I put the pale gold dress back on the hanger and said “Merry Christmas, Love you!”

Back to December 26th...we made it home safe and sound. I headed to my room motivated to begin packing. This included cleansing each drawer, organizing childhood memories and packaging Christmas presents. The phone rang. It always rang late at night at our house. My mom’s friends were forever calling about this thing or that. I ran up the stairs to see who it might be.  I walked in to find my mom with a look of shock on her face.  I heard her say, “What? Where? I can’t believe it.” I stood in her doorway wondering which friend had experienced a tragedy. She looked up at me and whispered, “Shea. Liz died.”

It was my friend.

The accident we had seen was Liz.  The prayer we had prayed was for Liz.  The pale gold dress I had seen at Macy’s, we buried Liz in.

This past week a woman checked out at my register with a handful of ornaments. When I asked her what they were for she said, “My son’s grave.” And once again I’m reminded in an instant that the holidays are beautiful for most, but for some, they are beautifully painful.

That party you’re planning for, you may not be attending. The dress you’re saving for might be your last. The energy you’re expending today on tomorrow's worries are wasted.

This season enjoy what time you have. Be patient with those around you. Love the ones closest to you. The present moment is only enjoyed when you open it.