MICROSKIRTS
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viewsHologram Cell Phones
By scranor1, Monday, August 30, 2010Triumph or Tragedy?
As of this year, we will be one step closer to the infamous technology of Star Trek and Star Wars. Infosys, the IT outsourcing giant, is introducing holographic mobile cell phones. For the technologically impaired, like me, holographic phones will project,capture, and send 3-D images. And while there are undoubtedly good things that will come because of this, such as emergency service techs assessing a situation from far away, I still say there’s still 10 good reasons this is a tragedy. 1. Say goodbye to steamy, hot phone sex ladies. For years we’ve hidden our makeup-less faces beneath a green face mask, ratty sweatpants, and slobbery retainer behind sexy voices. With his hologram headset in tow, there’s no more fooling lover boy.
2. Poor teenagers. With parent doing everything short of surgically inserting a GPS, teens don’t stand a chance. Of course, lying about where I was might be a part of my yesteryears, but such things are pivotal to one’s coming of age. Now parents are going to want you to call and then show exactly where you are via hologram.
3. Good luck ditching that friend you can’t stand. When you say you had to work late, she’s going to wonder why Six Flags is right behind you.
4. I can see the campaign already. Don’t hologram and drive. We can’t even keep people from texting while driving. That’s just 2-D. Throw in a third dimension and then watch the cars pile up.
5. As if sports, video games and cars didn’t distract the male mind enough; now women have to contend with a hologram? I can see it now…
“Honey I’m pregnant.”
“Not right now babe, I just downloaded 3-D Halo.”
6. Masking your emotions is out the door. For close to two decades now, we’ve used our cell phones to hide what we’re really thinking. Putting the phone down and flicking it off while we occasionally pick it up to say “uh-huh” will be gone forever.
7. Chain texts in 3-D. Need I say more.
8. Advertisements sent to us 3-D via cookies based on Google phone searches. Think it’s outside the realm of possibility? Don’t kid yourself. Single girls, wait till you have a diamond pop up and greet you each and every time you turn on your cell in the morning.
9. Remember when the thought of touch screens was revolutionary? Now it would just be revolutionary for the damn things to work. So if those are a pain in the ass, what kind of hassles and nervous breakdowns will these gems bring?
10. Finally, think about people with IPhones and Blackberries. They are by far the two most annoying groups of cell phone users in the world. They also tend to be absolutely rude with them as well. Can we blame them? These technological goodies are the new crack. Add another dimension to the mix and suddenly, we’re stuck with a whole new group of phone users who just can’t get enough of themselves.
We already have to deal with every single movie being 3-D. What’s the big deal, anyway? You know what else is 3-D that just doesn’t seem to get enough attention these days? It’s that little thing called life. I highly recommend it.
(Photo www.gadgetvenue.com)
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