My Big Fat Diet Rules

It's diet season out there.  New year, new you or so everyone hopes.  I always have found January riddled with depression, endless and bone numbing cold both physically and emotionally.  I want to de-tox and slim down but as we all know best laid plans...yadda yadda yadda.

I stepped on my scale 4 days ago.  I stepped off telling it to "go f#*k yourself"  The damage was bad enough for me to consider the Nina Sayers diet minus the open gap in my abdomen. (*Black Swan reference for those who've yet to see the movie).

What to do, what to do, what to do...

Obviously eat less, exercise more.  I..get...that.  I've put on/taken off close to 400 lbs in the past 12 years.  All I'm looking at right now is a solid 15.  What's 15 right?

My main hurdle is not the exercise.  It's the fact that I run a small catering business which means I'm around food ALL the time.  When I'm not catering for my clients I'm catering to my 3 sons who just are insatiable food wise without keeping ANY of it on.  My oldest stands 5'0 and weighs 82 lbs.  Little jerk.  So's while try to limit myself 9 times out of 10 I just nibble tooooooo much.  Which is wicked bad for the ol' double chin.

So in the interest of Spring approaching and future bathing suit season I've complied three things I'll do every day until I see some results.  They are, in no particular order - 

1.)  No leggings or pants that have stretch.  Look if the waist stretches YOU are going to stretch as well.  It's very hard to stop eating if you don't get the clue from your clothes "Umm you might want to back off those nachos.  Things are getting snug down here".  Suddenly you're raiding your man's closet for something "that's menswear.  Because menswear is SUPER in right now.  You didn't know that?  Oh yeah totally!"  

2.)  I'm going to wear the smallest ring I own and take it on and off daily.  Actually my smallest ring is my wedding ring and since I'm divorced I'm not exactly sure how that'd go over.  I'll find the NEXT smallest ring.  Face it - your fingers are the easiest way to gage your true frame minus the extra lovin.  If you can pinch an inch on your fingers there might be inches elsewhere.

3.)  I'm replacing lunch with a Lean Cuisine or a Smart Ones.  Yes, I, the caterer and chef  will be eating frozen food.  Why?  It's easy.  There's a selection.  It's portioned.  They are pretty tasty.  They fill you up.  And most importantly if I start rummaging through the fridge it's going to get ugly.  Plus it's way easier to count calories when it's done for you.  No adding, at least at lunch.

Now I gotta get this double chin on the treadmill.