I'M DYING! AND I DIDN'T MAKE THE BED!

What can we learn from Miracle on the Hudson, a recent book about the plane that ditched in the river with no serious harm to anyone but the geese who caused the problem? (They were liquefied into something called, in aviation jargon, snarge) The range of responses from passengers as they realized both engines had failed is fascinating. Some screamed. Some cursed. (A direct quote: “Oh, crap, we‘re crashing!”) A few were furious. Others were calm. My favorites are the folks who remained in denial. “Problem? There isn’t a problem,” they insisted as the plane plunked into the drink.

Experts say that in a crisis, some people are survival-oriented, some totally flip out, and a third group sits frozen in shock and does absolutely nothing. (When the oxygen masks drop, these folks stare at them blankly until they pass out.)

So how do you know which group you’re in?

You don’t. Until your plane loses both engines.

Passengers on Flight 1549 prayed to a smorgasbord of Supreme Beings. There were Jews and Muslims and a variety of Christians on the plane. And just one Buddhist (who felt kind of “left out.”) Some reached for their cells and tried to phone loved ones, although one passenger aborted her call when her seatmate said, “Don’t phone your husband now -- you don’t want to bother him.”

Come again? If when you are plunging toward almost certain death isn’t the right time to trouble your hubby, I don’t know what is. I applaud the woman who phoned her man the instant she realized the plane was in trouble and kept him on the line through the whole ordeal.

“Kudos to Verizon,“ the she said later, “They were right there.“

Now there’s an ad -- “We’ve lost both engines and we’re heading toward the water -- can you hear me now?”

A variety of last thoughts went through people’s heads. Many said mental goodbyes to loved ones. Some asked God for forgiveness. Others were pierced by regret that they’d never see their daughter graduate or play catch with their son. One woman fretted about the fact that she hadn’t made her bed that morning! (Easy there, Martha.) And the overly-practical among us can surely relate to the woman, who, as the plane went down, hoped her husband would realize he could collect double on her insurance, since she was dying on a business trip.

We’ve all wondered what it would be like to be in a plane crash. We‘re seen the movie version many times. But Flight 1549 provided a rare opportunity to see what it’s actually like. Some screamed, some wept and some prayed. And some worried about the unmade bed. You’ve got to love people.

I’m glad they all made it out alive.