1676
viewsI'm a Loser
By ReneeCK, Wednesday, October 20, 2010, 1 comments“Each possession you possess helps your spirit to soar. That’s what soothing about excess. Never settle for anything less.”
~Madonna as Breathless Mahoney/More
The topic of excess is popping its ugly head up around me lately. Yesterday one of my Twits put some perspective on it.
StevenBarnes1: I am so tired of good, decent people living lives too small for their hearts, and thinking that is all God wants them to have.
When I was 18, Breathless and her fame whoring cohorts were my role models. I wanted to be adored, have just enough fame that people knew my name, but where I could still go to the grocery store without a pack of paparazzi, and have every possession I could possess. Oh, yes. That would be dreamy. I was 18 so that was also possible.
When I got older, my husband worked for one of those major sub-prime lenders. I can testify first hand about how well their employees were compensated. I didn’t have fame or adoration, but I possessed a lot. Still, I wanted more. There was always a Coach bag or comfy car that was not mine. They kept me busy and distracted from the long business trips he had to take to keep me comfortable. I was also blissfully unaware of the impact having a dad who was only around one night or so a week was taking on me and our son.
My husband was one of the first victims of the downturn. He was making so much money that when it came to crunch time, his salary drew attention- and was cut. After our hefty severance package ran out, the panic set in. I had so much to take care of and no way to support it. Eventually all those possessions became burdens; more things I had to take care of. They were work.
I watched as the decent people around me moved into bigger houses, better vehicles, and complained. They complained about what they didn’t have. They complained about how much work it is to maintain what they have. They complained about the long hours it took for their husbands to earn what it took to maintain their lifestyle.
“But, once you have it all, you might find all else a bore. Though things are bliss, there’s one thing you miss and that’s more.”
~Breathless Mahoney/More
As our economic situation worsened, their complaints fell on deaf ears; partly because I couldn’t afford the lunches where they would complain because I was at home making the most of what I had left.
I stopped spending time with the hens who had nothing better to do than pick things apart and spent more time fortifying the foundation of my family. We played games together. We put joie de vivre into decorating for the holidays. We gave a lot of energy to helping my husband build a business. Making holiday cookies for our clients with pictures of the kids and a letter thanking the clients for allowing us to be a family was one of my favorite activities. The kids got to go with Daddy to see what he does and his clients got to see a more personal side of my husband.
chicskirt: @stevenbarnes1 I am heartsick with people thinking they are better than they are, building lives that are too big, failing, & blaming God.
When the economy hit crisis state, our client list shortened. One day we received a certified letter from an attorney. One of the clients, a granite counter top retailer, had gone bankrupt. It was our right to put together accounting sheets to show how much they owed us. My husband called the owner on her cell. She let it roll to voice mail where he left a message relaying his sorrow for the fate of the business and his wishes that her next steps are positive. She called him back to thank him. The other calls she was receiving after the legal notifications were not nearly as kind.
“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”
~Dr. Wayne Dyer
I learned yesterday that one of my daughter’s friends is going to have to move out of her house. The house her dad helped build with his own sweat and hands. I don’t know what their next step will be, the same as I don’t know what God has in store for the others I’ve watched downsize. I was also disheartened by an email from a friend asking if I know where she can get the best price for some of her belongings. She’s raising money to pay for a surgery her child needs.
What I do know is that the list of people who have downsized around me has grown and almost every family has found in their “stuff” a new found love and appreciation for the one thing that was always there- their family. Sometimes they are tattered and bruised, but the attention they are now able to give them without the pressure of cleaning the guest bedroom helps that immensely. Siblings share bedrooms, fight over toys, but are thankful for those toys. I’ve noticed more home made decorations around town as well. I enjoy the burgeoning sophistication that emerges in a colored jack o’ lantern. They are warmer to me than anything stacked deep at Target.
God may want us to live big lives, but I think His measuring stick is very different than humanity’s. I may not have a big house or new car, but I’ve never been happier. I long for the mornings when my husband spoons behind me, thankful he’s there and not on a flight to some west coast office. I love the pain in my side and complete exhaustion that I have when we go as a family to pick apples from someone’s tree. That’s better than any Coach purse could ever smell and I don’t mind the maintenance of my family as much as I do my minivan.
Enjoy!
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1 Comments
I so appreciate this,
I so appreciate this, Renee!
My economic circumstances have changed so much since my divorce, and I've learned so much about myself. I have heard and seen so many people writing about this very thing, so I guess it is the one positive aspect of the recession.
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