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viewsAnother One Bites the Dust!
By raquel, Tuesday, February 23, 2010I was still a little hostile about Saturday (Excluding me from birthday plans because “I don’t want to be around couples). I basically told my ‘friend’ that I would have preferred to make my own decision instead of her making it for me. After that text, there was no communication. I was expecting that we would have a few days of “space”. I thought it was all said and done.
On Monday morning, I get an email from her to my surprise. We usually email daily while at work. I didn’t send one. I was not ready to just go back to normal. That would be fake and that’s not me. That incident shocked me and made me take a second look at our friendship. That was not as shocking as when I read in her email that she didn’t want any DRAMA at her birthday dinner. My eyebrows rose. Drama? That completely took me off guard. By making that statement made it seem like I was a troublemaker or something. As if I was that loud mouth (drunk) friend people have that you can’t bring around other friends and family. Totally not the case. I have been a family friend for over ten years. They used to visit me in Atlanta. We never had any problems or arguments. I would go over to hang out with the family every Friday and holidays. I couldn’t figure it out. I told her that I wasn’t aware that she considered me a problem. That was news to me.
So I said hey, it’s your birthday. You can invite whom ever you want. This is not elementary school. But to take what I said (I don’t want to be around couples) to the extreme and then just cut me out of your birthday plans but telling me details about it leading up to the day is a little out of line. Then she told me that I’m the only one that has ever said I had a problem being the third wheel with her and her boyfriend, that being uncomfortable was all in my mind and as a result that I need to be more compromising. I explained to her that I was being very compromising especially because she has a baby. I would drive 30 minutes every week to their house so he could have toys to play with. I said no problem when she asked if it was ok to bring him to happy hours or just out to eat. Oh, its fine that you have to cancel…I understand things happen. It was like she was pulling these accusations out of a bag and it didn’t make sense when she tried to apply it to our situation.
By this time, I am even more confused. Where is all this coming from? I said I don’t know who signs up for the wheel (repeatedly). She insisted that I come hang out so I tried it out even though I didn’t want to. But after a few Friday nights under my belt with them, I said I couldn’t do it any more. That’s their time together with their child. Plus, I felt out of place especially with them sitting up under each other shoulder to shoulder. Me being so open and honest should have never mentioned how I felt around them and other couples at once. I should have just gone with my first gut feeling and never went over there in the first place when he was there. I should have let the cat have my tongue!
My motto is everything happens for a reason. It was bound to come out. If I=DRAMA then why do you want me in your life? More importantly, why am I keeping you in my life? As a result, I changed her status from close friend to seasonal associate. In the end, I can’t be surprised. The closer I am with them, the ones I talk to daily, the bigger the fallout. And another one bites the dust!
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