Come on People. Its 2009.

First off, congratulations!

Second, I get what you're saying about the whole "permission" thing, but I don't know whether this issue has anything to do with subordination. Perhaps your dad just wanted your fiance to reach out to him in some way? Perhaps your dad thinks it would have been respectful to at least have been given the heads up about your engagement? I don't really know.

But I totally understand how you feel, because I agree with you about marriage-type traditions. Hope you all can put this behind you and come to a new understanding.

My dad hasn't sad anything negative about the way my engagement happened. Its just the rest of the family.

Love, Laugh, Learn, Live

It's funny, some traditions I love and others I can't stand. I wanted my Dad to dance with me at the wedding and give me away. I didn't feel like it was me being subordinate to him, but a new direction in my life. I was 26 and had been out of the house for 5 years or so when I got married. However I feel like it was the transition from being single and relying on myself, and my parents before, to working with a partner. That was a new venture for me and I wanted to mark it as special. It was huge change in my life and I wanted him to be a part of it, just like my mother was in helping me with my dress and the flowers. Everyone is different and I guess what I am saying is that you have to find what is important to you and why. Maybe it is all in the wording? Is it just the words giving you away that bothers you? Just something to think about. There are other options if you don't want your dad to give you away. Of course you can walk solo, which is very beautiful and I completely understand if you choose that direction, on the other hand you could escort him to his seat? Whatever you decide has to be right for you and your hubby, so go with your heart. Good luck!

~Laura

You've definitely giving me something to think about. I know the wording bothers me but I'm not sure if its just the words. I've alway pictured myself walking solo. I want my dad to dance with me though- it brings back memories of when he would dance with me standing on his feet! I guess I've got plenty of time to decide.

Love, Laugh, Learn, Live

It's old-fashioned, for sure. But of course your fiance wouldn't ask Dad if Dad doesn't like him. It's just too bad that they can't get along. But don't let anything ruin your happiness. I don't have a dad either (well, biologically, I do, but you get the drift). When I get married, I'll be walking solo as well. Congratulations to you! <3