Juno Envy

 

Never Say Never.  When I read the fascinating story about Brook Busey (she changed her name to Diablo Cody after writing the screen play, Juno) I thought to myself, if this stroke of luck could happen to her, perhaps it could happen to me, too.  Any of us.  I mean, here’s a woman who moved to Minnesota after meeting some guy on the internet (an old story), and while there decided to become a stripper on a whim (a sad story) Oh, before stripping, Cody was a phone-sex-operator.  Is it all beginning to make sense yet?  I was reading this bio thinking, “Damn, although I cannot condone the sex industry, this woman has some good shit to write about.”

 

So, Diablo’s in Minneapolis stripping, making about 800 dollars some nights and begins observing pole dancing and ass wiggling as undervalued and not empowering towards women. What a surprise. Anyhow, she ends up marrying the internet guy and quits her night job, and hence, begins blogging about the “Popular Culture World” for “City Pages,” an alternative Twin Cities news paper ( Diablo Cody - Pussy Ranch).  And believe me; Codyhas some judgmental individuals who hateher guts and find her very unworthy of her success. Here’s her response (GRRRR) to those individuals from the Huffington Post: 

 

“I'm sorry that while you were shooting your failed opus at Tisch, I was jamming toxic silicon toys up my ass for money. I get why you're bitter. I took exactly one film class in college and-- with the curious exception of the Douglas Sirk unit--it bored the shit out of me. I also once got busted for loudly crinkling a bag of Jujubes during a classroom screening of Vivre Sa Vie. I don't deserve to be here. We've established that. But I'm here. Five million 12-year-olds think I'm Buck Henry. Accept it.

 

I'm sorry to all those violent, semi-literate fanboys who hate me for befriending their heroes. I can't help it if your favorite writer, actor, director, or talk show host likes me. Maybe you would too, if we actually met.

 

I know my name is fake and that it annoys you. What, do you hate Queen Latifah and Rip Torn, too? Writers and entertainers have been using pseudonyms for years. Chances are, you're spewing bile under an assumed screen name yourself. I'm sorry if you think I'm like some inked-up quasi-Suicide Girl derby cunt from 2002, but I like my fake name. It's engraved on an Oscar. Yours isn't.”

 

Diablo’s words, not mine, because I would never use the C-word, except in the privacy of my own mind.  My point is this; do you see how jealous and mean-spirited people are about Diablo’s good fortune, her Hollywood triumph, her gold statue?   She was nobody in particular who became “Oscar Worthy.” She became Somebody.  At an award show recently, Diablo was in the audience, and when Johnny Depp walked up to get an award, the camera scanned towards her, and she was all beady eyed, grinning, and waving her hand across her face as if say, “WOW, I can’t believe I’m here!”  I love that, because that’s exactly what I’d be doing.  Seriously, you’re taking off your clothes one minute, and suddenly, there’s Johnny almost breathing in your face.  Surreal.

 

People work years and years, go to writing classes, become editors, get their Master’s at the Actor’s Studio, work for the damn New Yorker, and here’s this floozy-poll dancing- stripper, who happens to be at the right place at the right time…

 

Wrong and right.  This chick has Talent. 

 

Cody Diablo is a crisp, fresh, witty, sassy, brilliant writer, and Juno was fan-friggen -tastic.  Am I jealous?  Hell yes! But her story spurs me on, makes me come to the realization that an unknown nobody (in society’s eyes) can become “Oscar Worthy.”  It’s like Cinderella finding the glass slipper; it’s utterly Pretty Woman; it’s Lana Turner sitting at Spagos; it’s Winfrey calling to say she likes your book; it’s an answered prayer.

 

It’s about the impossible becoming possible.

 

I want to learn from other writers, and I read everything; I devour everyone.  I will take your ideas and make them my own. I will try to write it better if I can!  And Diablo’s dialogue inspires me to be a better writer; the words are simple, elegant, sharp—like razors slicing your heart, every word meaning something, no excess.  Read below:

 

Juno MacGuff: Your little girlfriend gave me the stinkeye in art class yesterday.
Paulie Bleeker: Katrina's not my girlfriend alright? And I doubt she gave you the stinkeye that's just how her face looks, you know? That's just her face.

 

Vanessa Loring: Your parents are probably wondering where you are.
Juno MacGuff: Nah... I mean, I'm already pregnant, so what other kind of shenanigans could I get into?

 

Juno MacGuff: I think I'm in love with you.
Paulie Bleeker: You mean as friends?
Juno MacGuff: No... I mean for real. 'Cause you're, like, the coolest person I've ever met, and you don't even have to try, you know...
Paulie Bleeker: I try really hard, actually.

 

Brilliant.

 

don’t take my word for it; get the movie. Check it out for yourself; read the dialogue, the content.  Then give me your thoughts. Oh, and check out Diablo on Utube (YouTube - Diablo Cody Interview)