Expecting

I have always been extremely protective over my two little sisters. Even though we have always been lucky enough to have amazing parents, I still felt if anything bad happened to either of them it would be my fault.

My younger sister will be 20 this September. She will also be 9 months pregnant. She found out about 4 week ago and I'm still having trouble processing it. She's fortunate enough to have a boyfriend who wants to stand by her and the life they've created, but she's still a kid to me. She also has no idea if she's in love with the guy enough to want to be with him forever. It's hard for me to understand that she's old enough to be a mom. All I can do is trust her to know what's right and how to handle things.

Your sister loves you and she knows you love her as well. All you can really do is support her in the decisions she wants to make.

As hard as it is for us to believe our sisters are grown, they are 20. Maybe you could ask her if she wants her child to be influenced by the father. Hopefully, once the baby is born it will change this guy. He'll want to be there for both of them. But, if not, she'll know you'll be there to help her. I guess that's all we can do when someone we love makes a mistake.

If you want to talk some more, please feel free to email me at any time. I'm just at the beginning of this while you've made it through almost to the end. Any advice you could give me as well would be appreciated.

Much love,

 

Kayla

Keep doing what you are doing...being a supportive sister. She will come into her own somehow..although it must be very painful to see her in such angst. All you can do is love her and be there for her. If she askes you for your advice give it. Bashing the bone-head boyfriend will not do any good in the long run, but you do need to vent about it and this is a good forum (I won't tell, neither will the other ladies). And your little niece/nephew will be blessed to have you as an extra person to give them love. It is a teneous time and you can only take it one day at a time...peace and blessing to you, your sissy and the little one!

Kayla, thank you for sharing your story. It's nice to know that I'm not alone. Your sister is in my prayers and she has a wonderful sister to look up to and keep her together. Laura, you're exactly right. and I know that you are. I pray for the strength to help me keep my head on straight and focus on loving my sister instead of being angry at her boyfriend. Thank you both for your kind words! It helped me to breathe.

I am like that closet religious person that never says stuff like this outloud (only in my head) so it's weird that I'm putting this out there... but I always believe God has a plan bigger than us. So if he wants this to be her journey, than he's set it up like this for some higher good. When unexplained stuff happens like this and I think "Why him?" or "Why do they have to go through this?" I trust that it will all make sense some day. That is my lame advice. But I hope it brings some comfort.

Oh, that makes me angry... Seriously!  I don't know what you can do except be there for her....listen to her.... pray for her, and especially,  looooooooooooove her.  If all else fails, get a lot of chicks together and kick his ass!

Loving her may be the simplest answer but hardest course of action.  Get a doll that you can punch in the face when you picture his face on it and smile when he comes over to see the baby.  He's doing enough to show why she shouldn't keep him around- a real man can be a dad with or without mom around.  You really did raise her like a daughter because you're gonna have to watch her hurting and know that what is happening is that she is learning a lesson.  Hard lesson to watch, but in the end, you have to trust that bigger plan Stephanie talked about is coming into the light.  Balance the difficulty with the sheer joy of being an auntie!  It is really fun!
Renee

Thank you all so much for your advice. It means more to me than I can express in words! Truly wonderful women. I have taken it to heart and it has helped tremendously. (mean it.)