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By pleasebelieveme, Thursday, April 22, 2010, 8 commentsA couple of weeks ago, I saw Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married Too? I almost waited for the bootleg but decided to brave the group experience of watching in an actual theater. As I sat and watched the melodrama unfold, from Janet Jackson/Patricia's unchecked rage to Tasha Smith/Angela's unrelenting attempts to emasculate her husband to Sharon Leal/Dianne tiptoeing into infidelity, I laughed and rolled my eyes along with the audience and tried to remember that it was, after all, only a movie. But then I couldn't help but think back to the last movie I saw that prominently featured black women: Precious. Maybe something is just wrong with me, but I couldn't find the humor in the scene where Precious runs off with a basket of fried chicken and gorges herself in an alley. Before that, I watched The Princess and the Frog. I had to stop and wonder:
Do happy endings for sisters only exist in fairy tales?
That's a bit of a stretch.
And (I hope) the answer is no. (Although a popular rapper would have you believe that for grown women, morphing into a caramel Barbie is the business). Our lives are as diverse and multi-dimensional as they come, and we find happiness, success and fulfilment in a million arenas against some serious odds. But you might never know that looking at the big screen or from the sleight of so-called reality shows which feature us in all our cat-fighting, backbiting, neck-rolling, materialistic and self-promoting glory.
To illustrate my point: watch Basketball Wives' Royce Reed (the "classy" baby mama of Dwight Howard) twerk her ham hocks while wondering why the other "wives" won't take her seriously. Or tune into any episode of So-Called Socialites of Dekalb County. Beyond that, how about let's not talk about Pep or try to determine what Chilli wants (besides relevancy)? And yes, I must be tuning in to these shows in order to have drawn theses conclusions. I'm not immune to rubbernecking these train wrecks. But how basic will some of us get for Twitter fame and Facebook swag? Wait, don't answer that.
Have black women finally made it when they can literally air their dirty drawers on television for all to see?
The last time we were paraded around for the gratification of others, it looked like this:
And some of us willingly stoop (or split) to this?
Is this "entertainment" progress? I fear that a generation of impressionable little girls will grow up believing they should only aspire as far as paid club appearances and this season's Louboutins will take them.
It's a free country. We are free to do and say as we choose. But I venture to say no one will take us seriously if we don't, first.
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8 Comments
I so hear you. What is going
I so hear you. What is going on? But then I definitely think this is something I fear in the white community too. So I don't know if it's just happening in your culture. For every Precious, we've got Ruby (the 600 lb lady gorging on food and trying to figure out her "secret" past that she has blocked out). For every Real Housewives of Atlanta there are Real Housewives of NYC, OC and New Jersey embarassing the sh*t out of the women in their communities with catfighting, plastic surgery and uber-materialism. I read somewhere that children today see more sexualized material in a day than our grandparents saw in a year. I get caught up thinking "what is this world coming to? Everything is about sex and thinness and materialism and degradation" and then I sigh and realize there are people doing good in the world too. I've got to remember them or I'm going to spiral into sadness. This is an incredible post. So glad you brought up this topic.
Wow..thought it was just me!
I too have the same thoughts on both ends of this cultural spectrum. I will admit that I'm a reality star junkie..but as I watch I constantly shake my head with amazement at the lengths these ladies will go to for a small window of fame. As an advid reader and always trying to see the positive in any ethnic movie, book or reality segment, I also know that there has got to be a better way to get your point across in being successful. I commend Tyler Perry for his movies as I always seem to get "the message" behind the madness - it seems hard but fair at the least. The reality is "stardom has a price", but these ladies are not stars and most of these ATL/Orange County Housewives/Basketball Wives are being notable for simply a "hot mess" which is not my idea of "having it all." Too much drama but excited nevertheless. I must say your post hit the nail on the head and I'm so glad you brought up this topic.
skirtSteph - Kuddos!
skirtSteph - Kuddos! After I read the post, I was thinking pretty much the thrust of what you posted, but I was wrestling with the politically correct way to express my view without coming across as the hypersensitive black woman. So, thank you; your timing couldn't have been better.
pleasebelieveme - Great Post!
lrcarter - Although I try to understand behavior from all sides (good, bad and indifferent), giving everyone the benefit of the doubt, attempting to live and let live . . . sometimes, it's me too.
Can we be best friends?
Love your post and thoughts on this subject. I agree with Steph in that I believe that the points you bring up are cross cultural unfortnately affecting all women.
It makes me sad and sometimes angry when I see women behaving that way because if that pattern continues it will become the type of behavior that is expected of our gender. And that friends, terrifies me. All we can do is create ripples in our own enviornments to encourage empowerment, education and self-worth in the women we come in contact with. It truly is a cause in itself.
On a side note: I HEART Tyler Perry and do want to catch that movie. Diary of a Mad Black woman is my favorite movie of all time. love it. :)
Loved your post can't wait to read more!
Thanks, ladies
....for reading and for your insightful comments...this is a subject I have struggled with articulating and I am glad to know "it's not just me." I don't think it's hypersensitive to want people to do/be better and not sacrifice their dignity on the altar of fame (or infamy). We have to hold each accountable and put each other in check.
Yes, "singleinthesouth," we can be best friends. :)
tell tell
Interesting, in a blog about negative racial stereotypes, we get this little gem: "I almost waited for the bootleg...". I can always find the $3.50 in my coach clutch to shell out to rent a flick I want to see, but stealing is always an option too...I guess.
SWING....and the irony slides right by...
?
fatgucciman - Note that I wrote "almost". And ironically, I don't own a Coach clutch. *Sigh*
Chocolate covered truths
Soo true sis! Black women have come so far to be down graded in such a way just through entertainment itself. Its a darn shame, but all have to do better in regards to the high role we play in the lives of our families and futures! Kudos!
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