I can't possibly be defeated this early in the game

Aside from my outrageous resolutions for the year, I also have the same ones as everyone else. You know – managing stress, getting smarter, eating healthy, cursing less and working out (not just thoughts of it, actually working out).

Thanks to the pollen count in the air, stress has not been an issue this year as I have been Benadryl-high and drowsy. That’s right...what deadline? Note: “Benadryl” – also lovingly referred to as “church medicine.” A girlfriend of mine said that back in the day she had a friend who was given this “church medicine” right before Sunday service.  That’s what the mother called it, and apparently every Sunday – guess who wasn’t antsy during the sermon? “Church medicine”...child abuse or smart parenting? You decide. Either way, I can attest...a little Benadryl/church med equals hazy, yet calm.

As for getting smarter...well, reference aforementioned church medicine and you can probably guess how that’s looking thus far. 

Eating healthy – shrimp fried rice and chocolate covered pecan clusters with my daily shot of Frut A Vie. Looking good, looking good.

Cursing less – well, only three out loud curse words in five days. This is progress, as it shouldn’t count if all of the swearing is in my head. Check.

Now we move on to why I’m really writing...the “working out” resolution. I had my first dose of exercise in months yesterday. During this time is also when one of the three curse words escaped me and the other 50 were thought of in my head. A workout tape promising to get me fit and firm within weeks. As I’m typing, I’m annoyed thinking about the joy the workout lady has for...working out.

I used to enjoy it, but when you stop working out, it’s quite simple – you either miss it so much and start working out again, or kiss it goodbye like I did. My girlfriend pointed out that I probably don’t have any motivation to work out because I don’t appear to be unfit. When I’m huffing and puffing after a short stint up some stairs and I feel like I could use a pilates stretching machine...well, it’s time to get the body moving. Another friend of mine actually feels physically bad when she doesn’t work out. What? What’s that like?

It’s been proven – exercise helps you manage stress, sleep better, think clearer (which should aide in getting smarter) – that’s like three out of my five not-outrageous goals. And maybe four out of five since I think I may actually eat better if I work out because I wouldn’t want a chinchy meal that’s filled with make-me-feel-heavy carbs or let-me-see-how-fast-I-can inhale-it chocolate milkshakes –  I’d want to be refueled and feeling good. If I could get through this working out thing without saying, “I DON’T want to hold this position any longer!! Let’s NOT do it ONE MORE TIME!! AND NO IT DOESN’T FEEL GOOD, you crazy b*tch!!” I would be just fine and be closer to achieving my cursing less resolution.

Any suggestions on sticking it out? Have you tried sites like Self.com or Nutrio.com to track your progress? How’d you get and stay motivated?

P.S. If you are a perky workout fiend...at this time, I will not be able to easily relate to your joy of exercising. Please try to tame your enthusiasm as it may confuse me.

P.P.S. And no, buying a new workout outfit won’t help. I’ve already done that...several times. I’ve got the workout apparel thing down.