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Krrobi

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The Baby Club

Kim Sisto Robinson

There is a new form of discrimination, in case you haven’t heard; it’s called “discrimination against women who’ve made the choice not to have a baby.”  I know this first hand from my girlfriend, Janelle.  “Other women make me feel terrible, as if I’m not whole,” she told me, “as if I’m not a true woman until I bring a child into the world.  I feel like delivering a baby would suddenly give me permission to join an exclusive club, a club where I would finally be accepted.”  

Janelle, being a Pastor’s wife, was subjected to fierce judgment, especially from church members.  And she was, in some small way, punished.  “For bible studies, picnics, and meetings, the other women had me drive all the time,” she said.  “It annoyed me, but I never said anything. After all, I was the Pastor’s wife. I was supposed to be doing that, right?”  Janelle found out through the grape vine that she was asked to drive because she was the only one without a baby seat in her car. 

“When I got together with other women, the conversation was about diapering, breastfeeding, sleeping schedules, sleep deprivation, and baby, baby, baby…I enjoyed talking about this for the first hour, but after that I just wanted to scream, “OKAY!  I get it, I’m a friggen loser; I have nothing to add to this discussion; my uterus is empty.  I’m sooooooo soooorry!”

One may consider this a non-issue, but it is. And it’s called bigotry. While eating lunch in the break room, some of us gals began talking about our children and babies.  An older woman alleged that she thought women who didn’t have children were selfish and self centered.  I laughed, because I thought she was kidding.  She wasn’t.  “Well,” she said, “I take that back. Some women can’t have children.  Then they can’t help it.”  I didn’t laugh this time.  I felt sorry for her lack of common sense, her utter stupidity.  

It’s all about choice. This is what “Feminism” is.  It’s not about others deciding for us—what is right, moral, accepted, or religiously expected of us. The woman in the break room also mentioned something about “Going out and multiplying.” I wanted to yell, ‘hey honey, God’s not talking about rabbits here, and He loves homosexuals, too, and He loves you, even though you have a gigantic boulder inside your eye.

 Anyhow, Janelle and Todd chose to try having a baby about two years ago. She told me, “You know I think we’re ready to be a mom and dad.   I have everything I want and I’m madly in love with my husband. Why the heck not?”

Last week I received this photo of Janelle. Isn’t she beautiful? Meet almost new mom, Janelle.

I asked her if she was going to join the “Baby Club,” and she said she already  has, but now by her own choice.  All the women are talking to me now at church.  Suddenly they seem to identify with me, find me deserving. I’m still me...But this time with a full uterus!

Any thoughts about baby-less women?????