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Stephanie Davis
Stephanie started an illegal newspaper at her middle school called The Underground—which was printed on copy paper stapled together—thus beginning her foray into the world of publishing. She went on to be editor of her high school newspaper, worked at The Red and Black (UGA's esteemed newspaper)...
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Before you knew better...

Thursday, July, 24, 2008

Tonight I had dinner at the newly opened NEOat The Mansion in Buckhead with a bunch of my editor friends from other Atlanta magazines. Beyond having a 6 course INSANELY FABULOUS meal straight out of Rome or Naples (delish!), and wine flights to boot, we had an amazing conversation. Isn’t that what Italian food always incites?

Anyway, we started talking about young people out of college and specifically intern candidates that are often in our office. And then the conversation morphed into when we were first out of school--young, naive little things that we were. And we started to list the things we did and said before we knew better. Remember those days?

One of the girls at my table followed her boyfriend from one city to another, without a ring on her finger. (Which in the South seems to be a huge no no, by the way.) But she trusted her heart and it all worked out. They’re happily married now with a baby on the way.

Then I followed up with a story about the time I emailed an editor at a major magazine and said she was going to be sorry she didn’t  hire me when I was rich and famous some day! Nice.

A younger woman at the table said she gave her REAL number to a guy she didn’t like last weekend and now he called her 4 times yesterday and 3 times during our dinner.  

Of course there are much worse things that no one brought up  that I’m sure we collectively did or said before we knew better. Like telling our parents we hated them, walking drunk home from a bar at a late hour, falling for the “Excuse me, do you like comedy shows?” line in a major city on vacation or responding to chain letter emails like your luck depended on it. But that’s part of life right? I’m sure I’m doing things right now that people 10 or 15 years older than me know better than to do.

What are some things you did before you knew better?

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ReneeCK
ReneeCK
What would I give?
Posted Wed, 07/23/2008 - 22:42
Well, first, I must say that I'm extremely jealous of that meal. I would have loved to have been involved. I love being with like company being able to exchange dialogue with people who "get me". I love hanging out in Decatur and even L5P, despite it's new reputation for not being what it once was, because the free-thinkers there. *sigh*

But, what did I do before I knew better? This kind of goes back to the post I read today about regret. I would have looked for real friends, people who speak to parts of me, instead of just having friends to have friends- especially if I didn't like who they are. (Specifically I'm thinking of someone I used to be involved with whose reason for having heart-to-heart conversations with you was to get the skinny on you then broadcast it to everyone else.)

I would similarly say that for dating. I wouldn't have changed who I was, taken up new hobbies, set aside others, in order to be more desirable to men I liked.

But, I am glad to have had the experiences. I have reduced my circle of friends to a manageable list that I can keep up with and I don't feel I need to hide anything from. As for looking for a partner who's compatible, thankfully I was pissed off enough when I started dating my husband that I refused to set aside my things.

I'm interested to see what others say...and I'll be waiting for my invite to the next dinner. Shall we say Nava? ;)
onetwothreebirds
onetwothreebirds
Oh, so many things
Posted Thu, 07/24/2008 - 18:54

I would have said "no" more. Something deep within my soul wants to help everyone. It has taken me a long time to realize that not everyone a) needs help or b) will ever consider repaying the favor.
I would have left jobs in nicer, more professional ways.
I would have finished my first degree, and my second.
I wouldn't have mistaken a large group of connected people for friends.
But, would I go back and change things now if I could? No. I have story fodder forever, for starters. And, most importantly, I am enjoying who I have evolved into. I think what I'll do instead is offer my goddaughters sound advice and back it with a real-life, this could only happen to Auntie Rhi story.
Rhi B.
rhibowman.wordpress.com