25

 I woke up feeling pretty good about things today - it's my birthday - the start of a new year.

And it's an odd year, too, call me superstitious, but odd years have always been good ones for me - 23 was a great year, 24 a total rollercoaster, so I'm ready for all the things this year has in store for me. 

My day started off with coffee with a friend, a mini-shopping spree at TJ Maxx (the mothership) and a 7-mile run which felt INCREDIBLE. 

I've talked to all of my best friends today and tonight I have a dinner and drinks to look forward to. I love birthdays, and I especially love 25. 

I don't know why, but I feel really great about this one. 

As I was showering after the gym today I was thinking about the last 25 years. 

But rather than thinking about the timeline of my life, I (for some reason) started thinking about how when I was young, about 4-6, and my mom and dad would fight over something I did or didn't do, I'd always retreat to my room and rearrange my toys, color, make my bed. 

When I was a teenager (and even now as an adult) and things went wrong I'd rearrange my room, paint my walls, color my hair, cut my hair, paint a picture, write a poem ... 

And I realized today that my whole life, whenever bad things happened, I've tried to find a way to make something pretty out of the mess. It helped me rationalize bad things. To some people it looked like I was just trying to cover up the bad, escape, but really I was just trying to make sense out of it all while also putting my confusion, anger, frustration and pain to good use. 

I've never been one to just sit by and mope while waiting for good things to come. I've always been the first to go out and try and make it happen. I believe that in order to live life to its fullest you've gotta get out there and live it - you gotta take the good with the bad and you've got to go all in otherwise what are you living for?

If we live too carefully, never fully giving our hearts to someone, never putting our all into our passions, never making time for friends and good times - what are we left with in the end? 

I don't want to find out.

So for this year, and for the next 70  (because I'll be pissed if I die before my 80s) I'm going to live my life to the fullest and work as hard as I can to make good things happen for me and those around me. 

I'm going to embrace every opportunity that comes my way, while also finding ways to create new ones. I'm going to love hard, laugh lots and find inspiration in all the small things. 

Cheers to a new year, good times and a Happy Birthday to me!