You're even funny under 500 words. Tom pays Matthew for good grades - so far, so good. I haven't read or listened to your "I Believe" essay yet, but will do it this weekend. www.lindalatta.com/blog/

Oh you make me giggle! Is there a perfect answer? I have treated my daughter when she's had a good yearly school report. But she's only 11 and we hasn't started any 'exams/grades' ~ other than her spelling tests (joke!) ... so its really difficult to comment. I suppose once you start the 'dollars' ~ it does set a precident for future grades / but then I do get your views that it does fall into life skills getting paid for a job when we are adults! Oh I don't know ~ maybe I could just come over with a bottle of wine and we can contemplate together! Em, London

Well, my sister and I never got paid for our grades and we were always A/AB honor roll students. My parents just didn't believe in it. We were expected to do as well as we could and that was that. If it truly was something that we had trouble with, then we worked harder, but perfection was never expected. The thought that we'd never get into good colleges or get any scholarship money if we had bad grades was enough to keep us working hard.

(Because if we didn't get into good colleges, then we'd never have good jobs, and if we didn't have good jobs, then we would be homeless and destitute. Not that my parents were ever heartless enough to say any of that, I was just such a twisted little kid that that's how my logic worked. When I was in the fourth grade, I told this ignorant, mean little snot that was bothering me on the schoolbus to "Stop calling me a 'smartypants' you deadbeat, because someday, when you're grownup and you're too lazy to work hard and you still can't read because you NEVER bother to do your homework, it will be MY taxes paying the wellfare that feeds your equally-stringy-haired children." I am not kidding. I was a creepily-mature little kid. And, yeah, that was mean, but it kept him from throwing bugs on me and trying to trip me in the aisles the rest of the year.)

I totally agree with my parents' philosophy, too: kids are supposed to do the best they can and work as hard as they can in school. Just like at work- I've had jobs where I've had performance-based compensation, and I've had jobs where I got paid the same no matter what. But I didn't work less hard and I didn't do a shittier job with no performance-based compensation. I went in there every day and did what had to be done and tried to have a good time, even when I worked at the prison.

Trying your hardest is a minimum in my book. I just can't get my head around the idea of rewarding less-than-a-child's-best. If they truly work their hardest and their best, and you know that they have from the amount of time they spent on the assignment and the amount of work they've completed, then a reward might be in order, but it depends on the situation. If it's just a regular assignment, then no, I don't think monetary compensation would be in order. A special project that might take a few weeks? Then that might warrant a trip to the movies.

And I think it's very easy for parents to go overboard with the amount and number of incentives, (and I am speaking from some experience, since I've been a nanny twice [to 7 kids total], worked at a daycare, worked at a daycamp, and taught buttloads of kids at bible school). One of the parents of a kid at the daycamp took him to McDonald's for a sundae every day that he didn't get into trouble for hitting another kid or a teacher, (little f*****r only hit me once, I'll tell you that). That is wrong, wrong, wrong in my book.

Kids are smart and manipulative, (I was so sneaky, I was like a soap opera bitch when I was little), and they'll learn how to maximize their earnings with as little work as possible. Probably a good idea if you want your kid to grow up to run a Ponzi scheme (which seems to be a popular profession these days), but not very ethical at all.

So, in the end, dear Charlene, after all of that, I say, use your best judgment, and if he really gave 110%, maybe he deserves something. Sorry this was so long- it's just something I feel pretty strongly about.

This is an interesting question, Charlene. I don't have kids myself, so I'm probably not the best person to weigh-in on this topic. But, if I had to go with my gut to give a quick answer, I would tend to say that kids should not be paid for getting good grades. My rationale is that kids nowadays (compared to growing up in my generation) can be a bit materialistic. While not all kids are, I think it is important to teach them the lesson of working hard and getting a good pat on the back or their favorite meal made or something similar. If a parent pays their child for their grades, chances are that the child will buy something with the money rather than saving it. I think this fuels materialism in kids.

It's sad... my older sister is a single mom and she has four kids all within five years of each other. She is trying to better herself so she's working and is going to school. She can't afford the Internet at home and doesn't have a computer. Her kids do without a lot. She was telling me that my oldest nephew (who is 13) gets assigned a lot of homework for school that requires him to do research online. He's too embarrassed to tell his teachers that he doesn't have the Internet at home, so he has to stay late at school every day to do his homework. My sister has to stay late at work to use their computer to get her school homework done. These kinds of things break my heart, so I ordered my sister a laptop and printer today. I already pay for her cell phone, but I just ordered a home phone and the Internet for her. She'll get the service and the bill will come to me every month.

My sister's story is certainly not the worst story out there (and I help her out as much as I can), but it always reminds me of how many kids out there have so much stuff that they don't always appreciate. Or, some kids have no understanding that there are a lot of kids out there that aren't as fortunate as they are. I bought my nephew an iPod last year for his birthday and he was able to download 15 songs on it at a friend's house. My sister told me that he listens to the same 15 songs all day long (and he is always listening to his iPod) because that's all he has. Her kids do without a lot of the other things that kids have, but her kids are happy and appreciate what they do have.

So, that's my two cents. =) I think that some kids would be responsible enough to handle getting money for grades, but overall, I think that kids should be rewarded in other ways. Great blog- very thought provoking!!!

Hey, since I seem to do most of the homework around my house, does that I mean I get a bonus soon? Sheesh, I'd settle for a good report card! Last time I helped a girl in college write her essay online, she got a "C" on it. Ha! "Trust Life's unfolding...""Trust Life's unfolding..."

My grandmother always - ALWAYS, 1st grade through 12th grade - gave me a dollar per A. And I made good grades. In college, she gave me something, but I don't think it was a set amount. When Emma started school she did the same thing for her, dollar an A, but we haven't kept it up since. Basically only because we never have any cash on hand. I never thought of it as bribery, and it never ever was presented as "if you make this grade you will get this" but as a reward after. On the other hand, I've known parents from my childhood and now parents of Emma's classmates who go WAYYYY overboard with this - $50 an A, $100 for each 100 grade on spelling test, things like that. And you know what? It didn't work! The kids didn't make the grades. http://conversationswchristine.spaces.live.com

I got treats when I was in elemetary school. For example, an all a report card was rewarded with my choice of 1. a manicure 2. a trip to bowling/skating (all in one building) or 3. picking where we ate dinner that night. After elementary school this kinda faded away though. I'm pretty sure I would have made good grades anyway but it was a nice perk.

Great comments ladies!

I was thinking more along the lines of paying for report card grades (and possibly spelling tests for my daughter - because she is often unmotivated due to her ADD tendencies. And for spelling tests I'm talking $1.)

The thing is I ALWAYS tell my kids that all I ever expect is their BEST. I don't care what their grades are as long as they honestly try their best...but really they are the only ones who know what that is. My son DOES try, but is a bit on the lazy side (he got that from me) and tends to break down from the pressure when we push him a bit. My daughter really just doesn't care - or claims not to. I think because of the ADD she becomes overwhelmed and shuts down. So it's money or meds and I honestly don't know what is better way to go. (Another long debate I'm sure!)

For now it's just praise and sometimes a reward of a trip to the local frozen yogurt place. Thanks for all the great comments!

For my own kids (probably many kids) the good ol' dollar is way too abstract of an incentive. BUT... I will say that it's totally on the table in my home that straight As get you the object of your affection (within reason). I don't shell out cell phones or I-Pods "just because everyone lese has them" so these are the things that are strived for. Oh -- and the "straight As" are NON-negotiable -- if they are attainable (my sophomore must shoot for straight Bs). Depends on the kid.