I Believe in the Power of Being a Great Mom

I believe in many things. I believe in God and Jesus and rely on them daily. I believe in the quiet time that allows me to slow down, breath, remember my past and re-group. I believe in the innocence and blessings of children and the elderly in nursing homes. What I also believe in and am writing about today is the power and blessings of having a wonderful mom.

My mom had a hard life. As a teenager, she had an alcoholic father who eventually drank himself to death, but not before humiliating her by showing up at school looking for money for his habit. Her mother was very sickly so she was raised by her aunt (my namesake). Once my mom and dad married, her mother lived with them for a while and she started her nursing duties. She had three children (one who suffered from seer childhood asthma). In addition to her family, she took care of my father’s mother until she needed skilled care. Finally, she took care of my father during their 68 years of marriage and up to the day he died. In his last week in the hospital, mom was there every day from 9:00 – 5:00 sitting with him and making sure his lips were moistened and that he was comfortable. My mom was also a great friend.

Throughout my childhood, my mom never complained about taking care of so many people or about being tired or “used up”. She was always available to play cards or make Jell-O or Junket when I was sick. She even gave me a bell to ring when I needed her. She taught me in her quiet way, that you do what you have to do in this life. She taught me that you can do much more than you ever thought you could and be stronger for it. She taught me about compassion and love for the elderly that I have since passed on to my children. She taught me that “sh__ happens” (my dad’s favorite saying). She taught me how to be a mom and how to love and take care of loved ones. I guess I didn’t pay attention to the non-complaining part as I am much more vocal then she ever was and complain much more. This I am working on.

Now that she is 88, she has had to bury her father, mother, brother, husband, good friends and two best friends. How she keeps it together and still laughs and smiles is beyond me. Her strength is incredible!

My mom helped shape who I am today. She unknowingly passed on the strength, love and perseverance that she gleaned from all her life situations to not only me, but also to my children. If I could be half the mother and grandmother she is, I will be happy and fulfilled. Having her as my mom is a gift that I cherish and always will. This I believe.

Reflections

When I started writing this essay, so many things entered my mind about what I believe. When I really sat and narrowed things down, I realised that it was my selfless mom who unknowingly shaped who I am today. She never taught me the things I mentioned in my essay. I learned these things from watching her and seeing her interact with our family, friends and others. I saw her give herself to her family, friends and community wholeheartedly and take joy from doing that.

When I started writing the essay, the words really flew onto the pages. My mom’s best childhood friend died at the beginning of December and her best friend and my godmother died a week later and a few days before I wrote my essay. I wrote my essay to share at our December Book-group as we read “This I Believe” and were discussing it in December. Life was a little crazy for me at the time. My husband was working in Houston, Texas since Hurricane Ike (September) and I was running our two business’ and taking care of our three children (ages 18, 12, 9). I didn’t have a minute to breath, but felt so compelled to write and to share my story with my Book Group and my mom.

When I read the essay out loud at Book Group, I cried for all the love my mom radiates to me and what she instilled in me. In turn, when I read it to her the next day, she cried out of the love and pride she has in me.

Mom is 88 and I know I will not have her much longer. I know that she loves me with all of her heart and soul and I now know without a doubt that she knows how much I love her with all of my heart and soul. I will be so sad when I get the call of her death, but I know she lives in me and in my children and I see her daily.

~Sue Ivey