Did you ever see the episode of Friends where Ross and Rachel talked about having a “celebrity cheat list” – a list of 5 (or maybe it was 3, but c’mon, 3 is not nearly enough) celebrities that they were allowed to cheat with should the opportunity arise.  Ross wanted Isabella Rossellini on his list, but I think his friends convinced him that she was too old or something lame like that and he chose someone else for his list.  He actually made a little laminated list of his 5 (or 3) and then met Isabella Rossellini and she wasn’t on the list.  DOH!

Everyone has this list right? 

My husband used to say, “You couldn’t be mad at me if I slept with her.” 

“She’s list worthy?”  I’d ask

“Oh, yeah,” he’d say, “definitely list worthy.” 

Of course I have my list too.  “That’s my new boyfriend,” I tell him, “He’s the new #1 on my list.” 

“What happened to so and so.” 

“Oh he’s still on there,” I’ll answer. 

“Who’d you take off?” he’ll ask. 

“I’m not really sure, I’ll have to think about it.” 

“You know you can only have five.  When you put someone new on you have to take someone off.”

“Yeah, but what if I take someone off and then I meet them at a party and get an offer.  I like to have my #5 spot be revolving – you know, just in case.”  (Because I gotta tell you, that’s sure to happen out here in the suburbs by having a margarita at the local Mexican restaurant that is the equivalent of an El Torito before a PTA meeting or hanging out with my girlfriends at the local cougar Martini bar.  Yeah, Brad Pitt and George Clooney  – who believe it or not aren’t on my list – are always scoping out the hot suburbanites and looking for some action around here!)  I don’t want to be like Ross and have my list set in stone and miss out on a chance though – because truly, with my luck, that’s what would happen to me.

So who’s on my list if it’s not Clooney and Pitt?  Not who you would think.  And my husband’s list is even more obscure.  But here it is…  (Oh and I’m too lazy to cut and paste and size down photos of everyone, but I did include links just in case you don’t know who someone is or you’d like to enjoy a little eye candy!)

#1  JD Fortune.  Who?  I know, not many people know who he is.  I have a thing for rockstars.  Nothing makes me swoon like a rock god and JD Fortune – the new lead singer of INXS (yes found on a reality show) truly is a rock god!  He’s not as sexy as Michael Hutchence, who in my opinion was the sexiest man to ever walk the planet, but just like INXS replaced Michael with JD to lead their band, I replaced Michael with JD to top my list.  I’ve seen them play with JD fronting the band about 6 times and he is amazing.  (Yes, I clearly have a problem – I saw the band with Michael well over 20)   The guy just oozes sex.  I actually ran into him once at an elevator bank of a hotel where the band performed and got my picture with him.  He just squeezes right up next to you and holds on tight.  I’d upload the shot, but it’s on a camera phone with no flash and you can’t really see it – it’s too dark.  He was on his way to an interview and couldn’t hang out past the photo, but I could tell he wanted me – I could see it in his eyes. (You know I’m kidding right?)  But seriously, who knows, it could happen.  I do have a friend that made out with Billy Idol once in a public bathroom – okay it was 20 years ago, but I just sayin’…

http://images.google.com/images?um=1&hl=en&ie=ISO-8859-1&q=JD+Fortune

#2  Antonio Banderas.  All I can say is yum!  I love the Latin men – they are just so damn sexy.  And I’m a lot younger than his wife, so I think I stand a pretty good chance.  Plus I like the married ones because I’m married.  I’m afraid the single ones will just fall in love with me and I’ll have to break their heart by telling them that it was just a fling and that I really am madly in love with my husband.  So in this aspect Antonio has an edge over JD (you know, if they were hanging at the Mexican restaurant and fighting over who gets to buy me another happy hour margarita before the PTA meeting!)

http://images.google.com/images?um=1&hl=en&ie=ISO-8859-1&q=Antonio+Banderas

#3  Olivier Martinez.  Did you see Unfaithful?  Um, yeah this dude would totally make me cheat on Richard Gere too.  Enough said!

http://images.google.com/images?um=1&hl=en&ie=ISO-8859-1&q=oliver+martinez

#4  Philip Winchester.  Yeah, I know, another who?  Have you seen that new show Crusoe on Friday nights on NBC.  If not, you must watch it.  I have no idea if it’s any good or not, but everyone in my family likes it – even my husband.  What I do know is this Winchester dude, who just pushed the last #4 down to the revolving spot is really, really hot, with rockstar long hair and is always running around shirtless.   The only bummer is I checked him out on IMDB and found out that he’s only 27 years old.  That almost makes me feel more like a pedophile than a cougar, but still…me likey, me likey a lot! (http://www.imdb.com/media/rm1674810368/nm0934618)

#5  The revolving name…Okay, I do have to admit that my revolving list is rather long and at one time or another the gentlemen (actually the one thing I hope they are NOT is gentlemen) on this list at one time or another have graced a higher position on my non-laminated list.  But what can I say, I’m fickle.  So in no particular order here are the #5’s that I can remember off the top of my head, because yes, I’m sure there’s a lot more.

Sting (hot rock god still – I don’t care how old he his! And if you’re interested if you click on this link and then click on the 1^st photo in the image search you get to see Sting naked.  I’m not saying you want to, I’m just saying IF you do…and don’t worry – I won’t tell! And if you don’t, but still want to look at gorgeous Sting you can still click on the link without seeing any nudity – I promise!)

http://images.google.com/images?um=1&hl=en&ie=ISO-8859-1&q=Sting

Jimmy Smits (have loved him since LA Law and still do!)

http://images.google.com/images?um=1&hl=en&ie=ISO-8859-1&q=Jimmy+Smits

Benico Del Toro (I know, there is a bit of an ewww factor there, but it’s a dirty, hot ewww!)

http://www.smh.com.au/ffximage/2007/07/20/benicio_del_toro_narrowweb__300x457,0.jpg

David Cook – again, he’s only 25 so there’s that pedophile thing, but I did meet him once backstage at the American Idol concert tour and he is just adorable in person, so I’ll keep him on the list just in case the next time I meet him I’m not with my 8-year-daughter.

http://reiki30.blogsome.com/wp-admin/images/Top%2B9%2BDavid%2BCook.jpg

Ioam Griffith  He’s Welsh, he’s hot, he’s married, and one day he will be mine!

http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&ie=UTF-8&q=Ioan%20Gruffudd&um=1&sa=N&tab=wi

Hugh Grant Cheryl have you seen Love Actually yet?  See it already if you haven’t!  I think Hugh is more of a bad boy in real life than he tends to be in movies and I love me the bad boys!

Daniel Craig yes the new James Bond is might fine!

http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&ie=ISO-8859-1&q=daniel+craig&gbv=2

Pierce Bronsnan and the former James Bond ain’t nuthin’ to sneeze at either!

http://images.google.com/images?gbv=2&hl=en&ie=ISO-8859-1&q=pierce+bronsnan

Okay, I will stop.  I think I’m starting to bore you and am afraid that I’m getting greedy.  Besides, I told my husband he could only have 5.  After all he’s telling me the women he’d like to cheat on me with – I think 5 is very generous.  And if that’s a double standard too bad – we women have been subject to the ol’ double standard long enough – now it’s their turn!

And speaking of turns I’ll post my husband’s list tomorrow.  Trust me, I think you’ll be surprised.  (Translation:  Angelina Jolie and many, many others are not on it!)  I’d give you the list now, but my word count is getting kind of high and I know everyone is busy and doesn’t have all the time in the world to read my long winded blogs.  And besides, the kids of gone to bed and all this talk of my cute boyfriends makes me want to join my husband who has also gone to bed already….Enough said!