This morning a friend had tweeted a link to a story about hate crimes at Ole Miss the night of the election.  A black student was yelling “Obama won! Obama won!” and some dorm mates yelled ugly things from the fourth floor.  Granted, the cheering student didn’t need to go to the fourth floor and kick the doors in looking for his naysayers, but then other fights around campus didn’t need to break out, one with 15 white girls against 1 black student asking her “what are you going to do?”  I was angry. Sick. Disappointed.  I mean, these are students of higher education who I would expect some enlightenment, decency, and humanity from.  The cheering student, Aaron Thomas said “It’s Ole Miss; what do you expect?”  As my friend said- “What do I expect? For starters, let's try a thin veneer of human decency.”

Maybe I was too hasty in my call to end the race talks on Wednesday.  The true story is that we have a true measure that a majority of the country can see beyond the color of a man’s skin to see what he stands for.  Weighted down by this disappointment that in 2008 educated people can still be so afraid,  (because that’s what’s at the heart of hate) I took my kids to my son’s Cubmobile race.  Surely in the mayhem of 1^st-5^th graders racing wooden carts, I could find renewed hope in my fellow man.

Not so.

Standing there looking at the cars to see how the different dens pimped out their carts, I overheard the small group behind me.  “Yeah, my kid’s team hasn’t had a Yankee on it yet.” a tall guy standing in front of two seated people said. I know this because I was so stunned that I had to turn to look.  Thankfully my daughter had gone to the bathroom so I could hide my sideways glares behind a mask of concern for her well being.  In case you have missed it, I was born in Michigan, the north, and moved to Atlanta, Georgia, the south, when I was 23.  I never felt like I fit in Michigan and before I knew it, I had roots in Georgia.  I am living the saying “I wasn’t born in the south, but I got here as quick as I could.”  I haven’t heard any genuine Yankee bashing since I’ve lived here and have only seen it when I worked retail and a guy came in with a hat that said something to the effect that he was buying one way tickets for Yankees to go home.  Being in stunned silence, the conversation continued and moved into domestic vs. foreign adoption as the couple sitting down had apparently adopted their children from Russia.  (I’m amazed, however, you know, they are different, then again, the parents were making a point that they were speaking as well as any southerner- they could say Massachusetts correctly.  Which leaves me confused because I always thought I knew how to say it but I worry that I might not.)  The couple took turns relaying that it’s so much more difficult to “get” children here and when you do, the mother can come back at any time and reclaim her rights, they are open adoptions these days, and “You ever watch Jerry Springer?  Those are the parents of the kids you’re gonna get.”

Well, I know the mother coming back to get the kid at any time is not right because I know many families who have adopted children and, yes, there can be a waiting period but I have not heard of an open ended adoption yet.  And open adoption isn’t always the case, but even if it is, what is the problem with keeping in touch with the people who blessed you with this child?  If nothing else, you’ll be able to get medical information. 

My head was spinning with ignorance so great that I didn’t feel I could even begin to get a handle on it.  As such, I texted my friend and told him I could not believe that I was hearing Yankee hate.  His reply was “Stand up”.  Unfortunately by the time I got the message, I had moved from my spot and the moment was gone.

Now instead of feeling like Erin, I’m feeling like Rapunzel; locked away in a tower where I can believe that everyone sees the world the way I see it.  In my happy world people are mature enough to agree to disagree, don’t call each other names for the sake of hurting them, and they certainly don’t make ignorant blanket statements about people.  My friend was right. I should have turned even further, making it evident that I was now a player in the conversation, pointed out that I, as well as many others in this area now, am a Yankee, seem to be making it in the world just fine, thank you very much and would welcome his opinions on what was wrong, specifically, with Yankees. Is it all Yankees or one or two in particular who have burned him?  Sadly, it’s the pockets of southerners like him who give many a bad name and yet, even when faced with it, I am able to see that it’s just a few, not all. 

I’m a lover, not a fighter. I’m a lover and a writer. 

MiamiUniversity in Ohio has a No Hate Initiative on their campus.  The page says “Many individuals become targets of hateful acts because others are unable to accept differences based on race, gender, sexual orientation, religion, age, ethnicity or disability. Miami University condemns such acts. At Miami, a hateful incident directed at an individual or group, owing to their difference, is viewed as an attack on the entirecommunity”.  I would encourage you to look it over and find a way to employ it in your life.  I think we need to replace the wording to say “I condemn such acts.  To me, a hateful incident directed at an individual or group, owing to their difference, is viewed as an attack on the entire community.”  What a difference we could make if we all could accept this.

My friend is right- we need to stand up.

Enjoy!
Renée