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Loida Casares Ruiz

Wife, Mother, Writer, Advertising Manager

Loida Casares Ruiz grew up in Northeast Houston. She graduated from the University of Houston with a Bachelor of Arts in Journalism and Minor in English. She received a Master of Arts in Communication in 2001. She works in advertising by day and is a mother, wife, and writer by night. She has al...

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Pre-K 101

Loida Casares Ruiz

My son started Pre-K this year.  I was really excited to get him started early.  My plan was to have him at this Magnet School for Pre-K and then to apply for him to attend the same school that my daughter goes to.

My daughter didn’t go to pre-school and I saw a few issues in her social skills when she started kindergarten. I thought it would be a good idea for my son to get an early start and to help him learn his basics, especially since he has an even more challenging personality.

Both my children have had the same sittter since they were born and she speaks to them only in Spanish. I know that they understand her, but when they started talking they only started speaking in English.  Interesting I know but then I read that children identify with the language they hear their mother speak. I only speak English at home because my husband is English dominant.  The point is this, I didn’t think that a dual language program would be a problem for my son.

I could go on about the many things that didn’t go as planned. First and foremost I take full responsibility. My son wasn’t ready for school. Some kids aren’t. He told me he didn’t want to go to school and that he wanted to stay with his sitter. I didn’t listen. I thought, “I’m the mother and he’s the child.”  He didn’t start school with the best attitude to begin with. Add on top of that the Spanish.

Second, I know and understand that my son has a very challenging personality. I know that he questions authority when something doesn’t make sense to him or if he feels like something is unfair. He’s four years old.

Then there was the teaching. Let me just preface this with the fact that I was once a Pre-K teacher. I had two full classes (a morning and an afternoon class) and I did not have a teaching assistant. It was very difficult for me to understand how two teachers could not watch all the children at one time.  My son left the classroom more than once and he was the one who was in the wrong. Yes, he was wrong, but I also think the teachers were accountable. They are the adults and he is the child.

But the best part of this whole experience was what I learned. It was a very eye-opening experience and I was amazed at how children are labeled at such an early age. Now I know how it happens to thousands of young men, especially Hispanic men.  I once read that Hispanic men are very often diagnosed with ADHD or learning disabilities, but many times they are very intelligent artists and writers who are very energetic children. Many times they challenge rules and order because it doesn’t make sense to their creative minds.

The principal told me that my son could not concentrate on anything for longer than three minutes. I couldn’t believe it. I can read to my son from a chapter book and he will lie in bed listening to me for a very long time before falling asleep. This is a little boy who can sit quietly while his seven year old sister reads to him or makes up a story.

I have now learned first hand how children are labeled early on and after that label is given to them they can’t win for losing. My husband went to the school one day when called by the teacher and he observed two boys on the playground horseplaying, yet my son had just gotten in trouble for “fighting” in the same way. Don’t get me wrong. We do not defend the fighting. It was the principle of equal treatment.

I know schools are all about rules and order. I know that that’s where we send our children to learn and to learn social skills, more than we’ve already taught them ourselves. However, I now know that not all schools are the right fit for a child. We can’t force our child to change for the school, if the problem isn’t all him or her.  In my case it was the language barrier and the labeling.

Today my son started an English language Pre-K in a daycare near my daughter’s school. It’s still too early to tell how this will turn out, but already the language has made a big difference in his attitude.