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MissAttitude
Freelance Writer, Blogger, Web Producer and Adjunct Professor
I'm a professional woman in my 30s who's spent the last 13 years working in TV news. I love shoes, shopping and blogging. I also have an advice column. In the name of full disclosure I have to admit I don’t have a background in psychology, unless you count that one college course freshman year ...
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I'm not good at these things, but she's amazing

Tuesday, October, 14, 2008

Today one of my friends is having a double mastectomy after being diagnosed with breast cancer last month.  She's a strong woman with determination to beat this cancer and I know she will.  It's just that I have the overwhelming feeling that I have not been a good enough friend.  I don't deal with these things very well, but then again who does?  

It was scary enough when my grandmother was diagnosed with breast cancer and had one breast removed a few years ago.  But now to have a friend my age battling this disease, well it's almost too difficult to comprehend.  The other day she was asking me if I've had a mammogram and being 34 I haven't.  And she said since it runs in my family, I probably should-- adding that she wasn't trying to be one of those preachy people.  So here she is, facing up to six hours of surgery (she's having the reconstructive surgery done at the same time) and she's concerned about my health.

And here I am writing this blog and having said nothing very helpful to her personally, except let me know if you need anything.  What can I possibly say or do to help?  And lately I've been too busy struggling to not wallow in my own self pity about being out of my condo, being sleep deprived from working two jobs and never having enough money to pay the bills.  When crappy things happen to me I try to remind myself that other people have worse problems or face bigger challenges.  

Well, today is one of those big reminders.  So please keep my friend in your prayers.

Stylishly yours,
Miss Attitude

www.missattitude.us

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getaclewis
getaclewis
Brighter times ahead
Posted Tue, 10/14/2008 - 05:36
Your friend's approach to living is definitely an inspiration and she will absolutely be in our prayers. Please thank her for urging you to get a routine mammogram, as I am now reminded to do the same. (That annual nudge form has been sitting on my desk for over a month. I'll call today.) You're in our prayers, too. Your plate sounds very full, so please remember to take care of you. "Trust Life's unfolding..."
krrobi
krrobi
I like your honesty. I can
Posted Tue, 10/14/2008 - 09:27
I like your honesty. I can only tell you what I have done when my girlfriends have gone through trials...I say, "I am here for you night and day. Call me. I love you. Can I bring you chocolate?" One of my friends also had a breast removed, and I took the day off work to go to the hospital with her. Four of us did, actually. I think the more one goes through in her own life, the more empathy she feel. I used to run, pretending these sorts of things did not happen, until they happened to me! :)
BCBlogger
BCBlogger
I promise you - just asking
Posted Tue, 10/14/2008 - 10:28
I promise you - just asking her what you can do for her, letting her know you are there, calling and checking on her. . .all of those things help. Just KNOWING that someone outside the walls of home cares is a tremendous help. Even if she tells you she needs nothing, she'll likely still take fact in the comfort of knowing you are a phone call away. I'm so sorry for your friend. xoxo
MissAttitude
MissAttitude
Thank you ladies!
Posted Tue, 10/14/2008 - 11:48
I appreciate the kind and supportive words. I just feel a little helpless. We got an update a short time ago and she's still in surgery. They're working on the reconstruction now and waiting for the biopsy of the lymph nodes.
Stylishly yours,
Miss Attitude
www.missattitude.us
BCBlogger
BCBlogger
Any updates, today? How did
Posted Wed, 10/15/2008 - 13:12
Any updates, today? How did she come through? Still thinking of you & yours. xoxo
MissAttitude
MissAttitude
Update
Posted Wed, 10/15/2008 - 16:12
She's doing well. One of my other friends and I went to go see her at the hospital. The doctor hadn't been by yet though and they still don't know if she'll need chemo. Thanks for asking. I appreciate it.
BCBlogger
BCBlogger
You're welcome. It's good
Posted Wed, 10/15/2008 - 18:42
You're welcome. It's good to hear the news. Obviously, I don't "know" her. . .or you . . .but this issue just touches me deeply. Both of my grandmothers fought it, I've had my own scares. So, anytime I hear of anyone dealing with this, I have to send them a "mental bouquet of flowers." Crazy, huh? xoxo Blessings to you.