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Renee CK

writer, editor, tweetable http://twitter.com/chicskirt

I'm a fun girl who's on a quest to figure it all out. I'm cynical but living the dream- I'm not sure how that happened exactly. Follow along in my blog for fun, mayhem, and merriment. There's never a dull day! (Or, go download my book!)...

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Life is Good

all the time

My daughter is unreal.  She’s adorable, (I’m not the only one who thinks this!) full of personality, and she really thinks she’s a princess. From the minute she was born, she never knew fear- and didn’t really need to. As the youngest child, only grand daughter for my in-laws, and her daddy’s girl, nothing was going to hurt her. 

(baby girl 6 months- yes, my actual kiss- we had just been playin’)

Last year she had a kindergarten teacher who loves children like her.  Once she was done with something, actually or by her own proclamation, she was allowed to be done, leave the table, and go do what she wanted to do.  She was also allowed to spend the first 10 minutes of each school day in the classroom of a teacher who she had a “special bond” with; not her own teacher.  I noticed that there seemed to be some delays in her academic performance but was quickly reassured that she’s young (has a late birthday) and would quickly catch up.  I planned on her having the first grade teacher my son had which automatically meant the teacher would know how to manage a learning delay and would not be swayed by her personality.  However, she did not get that teacher.  Mortified doesn’t even begin to say how upset I was. But, I decided to see how it goes and go from there.  A month into the school year, we’ve had 2 solid weeks of “yellow” behavior, brought down from green (but before red!) because of inability to stay on task and follow directions.  Two weeks ago when I got the first major stack of classwork I took note that a great deal of it was 2 on a scale of 1-3, 70%, needs improvement, done with the teacher, or all together messed up.  Friday when she came home with another week’s worth of mediocre work, I got angry. 

I had a serious talk with my daughter. We re-did work that was extremely low quality.  After that, I told her that I thought she needed to think about what it would take for her to be a better student. While she did that, I wondered what I was going to do.  I am not above holding her back a year. We did it with my son so the 3 year span between my kids that I had planned on has been reduced to 2.  She’s young so it wouldn’t be a big deal.  But do I do that now considering that I think the basic classroom behavior skills were not learned or do I keep her in first with her retaining 70% of the massive amount of information and have her do it again next year?  I stopped myself and decided to call her teacher to ask what is really happening in class.  Maybe, like her reading ability test, she just needs some education on how to do these new things.

Her teacher thanked me for calling. She told me that my darling child does not pay attention in class, does not stay on task, and as such has lacking performance and does not complete work according to her ability.  I asked if maybe we have an issue that we should be testing for. What I’m thinking is hyperactivity disorder.

The weight of this has been on me all weekend.  I am upset that her teacher last year instilled such poor classroom behavior habits and know that I and her teacher are going to have to spend a great deal of time re-teaching her what is and what is not appropriate.  And this may not even solve the issue.  

Sturday night, something led me to my friend’s blog.  My friend Jen was pregnant at the same time I was pregnant for my son.  We shared milestones and my son happened to be born six weeks early.  She had her son, Sam, 3 weeks after I had mine- and he was still born.  I had complications with my pregnancy and so seeing my son come out perfectly healthy aside from some jaundice that was treated at home, and seeing Jen and her husband mourning Sam who up until she woke up in a pool of blood, was a perfectly healthy pregnancy forced me to remember how extremely blessed I was.

It’s been 9 years since the boys were born and my son’s full name that he was baptized with begins with Samuel to remind us how blessed we are.  However, in the hustle and bustle of life and 5 new children, (1 of them mine, 4 of them Jen’s) sometimes Sam gets put in the back of my mind. 

So Saturday night with the weight of extra attention for my daughter on my shoulders, I read a post about Sam’s birthday party.  Each year the family goes to Sam’s gravesite and releases balloons for him to get in Heaven.  It was the first time I’d seen his headstone.  I cried.

My baby girl might have some difficulties and I might have to dig a bit deeper to help her, but you know what?  At the end of the day, I get to kiss her after she huffs her freshly brushed breath on me.  I get to lay beside her in bed with her golden hair tickling my shoulder and listen to her struggle over words.  And I get to kiss her goodnight.

When friends call me asking “what do I do now?” after getting a diagnosis for their child, I remind them that the child they are so concerned about is the same person today, after the diagnosis, as s/he was the day before.  The only thing that has changed is that a new reality has come into their lives to help them help their child by identifying their special needs.  It does not matter if my daughter is affected or just needs a kick in the pants to get her going, she is the same silly, sassy, bubbly, fun-loving, full of life baby girl that I’ve always known and loved.  And I just get to spend a bit more time helping her.  Who wouldn’t be thankful for spending more time with their child?  Jen would give most anything to spend one day with Sam. 

The things that concern us most do so because they matter most to us.  Be thankful and

Enjoy!
Renée