Prop 8 is No More

I voted no on 8, and was happy to read the news earlier today.  I am also curious to see what people that supported prop 8 have to say.  On the news you hear the extreamists, I wonder what the real, normal, people would say.  What their real reasons are.  In a forum that will respond without mudslinging, name calling, or bashing.

Here's a little bit about me for those of you who don't know.  I'm a married woman, (coming up on our 13th anniversary!! Yay!) a mother of 3. 

I didn't stand up against prop 8 because there is a woman that I long to marry.  I didn't stand up against it because I have close friends or family members that are gay.  Though I'm bisexual, the question of sexuality didn't play much of a role in my decision.  To me, it was simply a case of discrimination.  A way to change the law to say you do not deserve the same rights as I have because of who you want to marry. 

As for the term "Civil Union", well, I learned at a very early age in school that seperate but equal is not equal. 

I think that's incredible news! I'm wondering if New York will be the next to follow. That's usually how it goes. I unfortunately live in Georgia where some Governor hopefuls are campaigning to throw out children of illegal aliens in our state. The other big issue? Will people be forced to speak English only, because they don't want any more Spanish options on our state exams. THESE are the pressing issues in my state apparently. Not taxes, education or civil rights. Yay for California! This is huge. At some point we'll be talking about this the way we talk about the 19th amendment. We'll wonder why it was ever such a big deal. 

I'm thrilled for CA, you and for the rest of us!

I always thought the wording on that Prop threw some voters off.....vote no if if you want it essentially.

We are all living in such a wonderfully progressive time in which we're benefitting from those who marched ahead of us, but we still have our own marching to do.  Keep it up, Grrrl!!!!!

That's such awesome news!!! I'm so glad you wrote about this!  I'm also glad that you are out and in the open about your life and about your sexual orientation.  Your voice is very important, one that needs to be heard and your writing is so excellent.  And, I also appreciate the acknowledgement you've given to the fact that some other skirt! blogs have gotten rude/nasty comments, and that you hope that never happens to yours.  If it ever did happen to one of yours, I'm right behind you all the way:-) 

Lots of love,

Kimberly

I heard about this! It looks like the Constitution has finally preempted this discriminatory policy! I'm still waiting for Florida to come to their senses, though. Somehow beastiality has yet to become illegal (though it has been up for vote 2 times) but same sex marriage is. So, you can have sex with a dog and it's okay? But if a lesbian wants to marry her girlfriend it isn't? Ugh!

Which is something that we all should celebrate. . .you know that saying,"no one is free unless all of us are . .." or something to that effect. Ironically, some of the proponents of Prop 8 tried to argue it was their patriotic duty to do so - because anything that threatened marriage as a traditional institution threatened all of America.  God, the irony makes me want to cry.  Really?  Oppressing people is a way to demonstrate good ol' American values?  Seriously?

(So maybe that was a little harsh; I am not trying to discount the other side - I know people have strong feelings either way, sometimes due to a religious component.  I am not trying to be disrespectful, but .. ..here's where I'm coming from  . . . )

I worked at a battered women's shelter for many years - it was a grassroots, feminist organization - and it really shaped my views on this issue (gay rights overall - not just marriage).  First, it was a battered women's shelter.  Not that there is NEVER abuse within the gay community, but the vast majority of the thousands of women I worked with were all in hetero relationships. Many married.  Just because you have a "boy-meets-girl" story does not guarantee that you live happily ever after, as we all know.

Plus, many of the AMAZING women who worked within the battered women's movement with me were lesbians.  Originally, this work was mostly done by lesbians and formerly battered women -- those who felt passionately about women's rights and first opened their homes to those fleeing abuse - thus starting the shelter movement.  Anyway, these women that I had the honor to work with were brave, selfless, progressive, and truly made the world a better place every day.  The fact that they then had to turn around and worry about discrimination, hate, the emotional and sometimes physical safetly of their children/families . . .it made my heart break for them.  It changed me forever.

Gosh, didn't realize I would write a book in response here (did you hear I'm researching a novel ?:) Anyway, I think you are an incredibly witty, compelling, and brave writer for skirt!  thank you for making this site all the better, because your voice is part of it.

BTW - I am a married straight woman, mother of 2 .

These are some of the clearest, best articulated arguments I've read. I'm so happy so hear such a variety of people saying, "This is discrimination, plain and simple, and that's not the spirit of this country."  I'm also thrilled that this was the basis of the judge's ruling as well.  Thank you all, and thank you especially for your warm, supportive words.  (And thanks Kimberly--I'm glad you have my back!)

@Angel, Kimberly, and BeckyB: Thank you, well-said, and right on.  Y'all are reasons I blog here.

@Steph: I wonder the same thing! My great-grandma was a suffragette, and they went through hell to get the 19th amendment passed, did hunger strikes, were considered insanely radical, but now it seems like the most obvious thing that women should vote. Maybe our grandkids will feel that way about this. As for Georgia, those proposed laws both violate the Civil Rights Act of 1964, so I wonder why they're even being considered.  You can't kick people out if they're born in the U.S.  Hello, 14th Amendment?

@Moonflowersandhoney: Florida also has a discriminatory adoption law that doesn't allow gays to adopt--even as single parents!  It's been bouncing around Florida courts for quite awhile, which is especially hard for all the kids up for adoption.

@MaeMucho: Long comments are very welcome and good wishes for the novel.  I think your experience illustrates something very important, that straight people who know openly LGBTQ people personally tend to be supportive of LGBTQ rights.  It's personal--those women you worked with, your friends--and not some abstract idea about "the gays." Though it's framed as a religious issue, I wonder if the opposition is really about that.  Tikkun Magazine just did an issue on why gay rights are something religions should support, and it's mostly written by religious leaders.  Especially as a religious person myself, I find the argument that religion is so deeply opposed to gay rights to be unconvincing.  And thanks, both for your kind comments and for your work at the shelter.  That's what our country needs, people helping each other in that real way.

Does anyone who supports Prop 8 want to explain?  No one will bite.  I'd genuinely like to hear where this came from.  Let's see if we can have a respectful dialogue.

I'm really late to this - personally, I was very pleased that this was overturned and that you wrote about it Natalie.  It seems illogical to me that  "married" unions receive so many legal and economic benefits in our country without opening up the definition to include same sex unions/marriages.  This is same country that our forefathers and mothers so passionately fought for equality and very pointedly made separation of church and state.   That said, I know many that do disagree and it is my shared hope with you that there can be respectful dialog throughout our nation since it looks like it's heading the Supreme Court.

I know! They pay them to be foster parent, though, which makes absolutely no sense.