The Other Thing About Being Single

Dating usually gets a bad rap, a series of miserable false starts and a lot of frog-kissing you drag yourself through so you can get the prize of Happy Couplehood.  Or it's viewed as a hedonistic, superficial indulgence, immaturity and dazzle without any soul.  If you're a single woman, especially one who's lived through a flurry of friends' engagements and weddings, living in a culture that views you as either pity-worthy or vapid can be pretty rough.  Rougher still when you do have a bad date, a heartbreak, a lonely night, a jar that won't open, or some other pang for a partner.

It's easy to forget that being single can be pretty freaking awesome.

There, I said it.  What single woman are not supposed to say: there are advantages to being single.  Not just the silly, sparkly things, but fulfilling, tempting, wonderful things.  Things that, if we're honest, are hard to give up.  Freedom, independence, the opportunity to go after your dreams without anybody at home getting resentful, the ability to pack up and change your whole life because you're inspired, energy to pour into your passions, and time to devote to your friends and fam, just to name a few.  C'mon, whether or not you're part of a couple, you can think of a few things you like(d) about single living, just like we can all probably think of a few great things about being partnered.

And to say something even more shocking, dating doesn't suck either.  Well, not always anyway.  Isn't that beginning part where you're excited kind of amazing?  When you get butterflies and want to buy new underwear?  I know, there can be awful, terrible things about dating.  Trust me, I know.  I can be so awkward you can't believe it.  I have some ridiculous heartbreak stories and bad dates in my personal history.  Despite this, dating can be awesome.

I'm just getting over a cold, which has interrupted a lot of my plans the last few days.  However, the woman I've been seeing brought me soup and juice the other night, plus a little, brightly frosted cake so I'd have something to look forward to when I felt better.  You cannot imagine how charmed I am right now.

Would it still be charming if it were a long-time partner fetching me soup and sweets?  Sure, but it has a special sprinkle of hope and excitement right now, because it's not expected, not an obligation.  It was a lovely surprise.  That's the other thing about being single, that there is space for quite a lot of surprises.