As I See Her

I have a friend that I love dearly.  I would do anything for this woman.  She is smart, pretty, sassy, caring, and the list goes on and on.  She makes me laugh, she has my back, and she can be straight up honest with me without hurting my feelings.  But in recent months I have realized something about her.  She is giving all her power away to a guy she has been dating for way too long. 

She says it's over.  I hope it's true.  I do.  But I have heard those empty words so many times before and I know that odds are she will go back to him.  I don't get it.  She calls him a loser.  I agree.  She says he's an a$$hole.  I stand up and clap.  But after all is said and done this loserhole(it seems like an appropriate term) is still in her life. 

She asks me for advice.  I tell her the truth.  She agrees with my truth - but sadly, I know it's not hers.  She's damaged by years of watching her mother stay in an unhealthy and abusive relationhsip with her father (they are still togther).  And she doesn't realize how much that relationship has affected the way she interacts with men.  She doesn't realize that her self worth is minimal - just like her mother's.

She blames him..  I can understand that.  He is an awful person. But I think she has to take responsibility here.  Fool me once, shame on you.  But fool me 1,156 times....you get the drift.  This guy has shown her time and time again who he is.  He lies, he steals, he is disrespectful.  That's who he is! So, how can she keep getting upset about this guy being himself?  It makes no sense. 

If there was a way for her to see herself as I see her this would all be so damn easy.  If she could just see that she deserves so much better. That having outer strength doesn't mean much when you have given all your inner strength away.  That she is far too intelligent and loving and gorgeous to put up with his crap one more day.  That if she learned how to treat herself she could then show others how to treat her. 

I look at her and I listen closely to the latest complaints about him and I just want to scream.  I just want to tell her to walk away and learn to love herself more.  I just want her to simply stop, breathe, and see herself as I see her because if she did, she would treat herself so much better than this.