Do Not Disturb?

I read somewhere that men are more radical in their youth.  All that testosterone and youthful anger propel them to take to the streets, cocky young roosters eager for fights and weapons and confrontation.  When they get older, they get mellow and turn into wise, elder statesmen who negotiate and pontificate.

Women, on the other hand, get more radical as they get older.  With the evolutionary imperatives of finding a mate and procreating behind them, they focus their energies on the larger needs of the tribe.  And they are generally pissed off at what they see.

And it's true for me.  I get a few minutes of free time now and then, teenagers are temporarily accounted for/out of jail/in school, and I'm not really interested in decluttering my countertops or taking yoga classes.  I think I should be saving the world.

I read Anais Nin's words, "Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage."  Gandhi tells me to "be the change." And my favorite Teddy Roosevelt admonishes me to "dare mighty things."   As if raising boys isn't mighty enough?

And I pull out my prayer -- the prayer of Sir Francis Drake:

     Disturb us, Lord, when we are too well pleased with ourselves

     When our dreams have come true

     Because we have dreamed too little

     When we arrived safely

     Because we sailed too close to the shore.

     Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly

     To venture on wider seas

     Where storms will show your mastery,

     Where losing sight of land,

     We shall find the stars.

As I pass fifty and look at the downhill side of the mountain and the new freedom that comes with sending my chicks off from my nest, I wonder.  Do I want a Real Simple chilled-out life, or do I want to be courageous and mighty and disturbed ... where losing sight of land, I shall find the stars?

Or should I just go on a nice cruise?  I wonder, is this what a midlife crisis looks like?