To the Vigilante Beaver Killer

Dear Mr. Vigilante Beaver Killer:

Am I right in assuming you are male? I can't picture a woman concealing a gun, stealing into a city park and emptying her ammo into a creature with a fraction of her intelligence; a woman would be horrified at the thought of discharging a weapon in a park that is a playground for dogs and children; a woman would be heartsick murdering a wild animal so it will no longer be able to protect and raise its young. In fact I also suspect that you were drunk, because what kind of weirdo premeditates the murder of a beaver.

I know the beaver killed a husky. The dog was no doubt just curiously swimming out into the Red Deer River to explore, or maybe it plunged in excitedly after a ball or a stick. A lot of that sort of thing happens in an off leash dog park. Clearly, the dog was perceived as a threat and treated as such, because now is the time of year when wild animals are busy with their young. I am sure the dog, playful or not, appeared ominous to the beaver sparking the vicious attack that resulted in death for the dog.

Was it your dog?

No?

I am sure you felt very sorry for the dog and its owner. I know I did. The owner must be heartbroken. Was it an act of empathy or a drunken bout of machismo gone wrong?

Did you hear about the dog killing and think someone needs to avenge the death of the husky? Someone needs to teach the beavers a lesson? Pretty clever of you to leave the body bleeding out in the open as a warning to the rest of the beavers. Besides he had it coming right?

Well, it worked. No other dogs have been injured by beavers since you showed the rogue beaver who was boss.

Though, I am betting that you didn't expect so much press coverage. It is unthinkable that the National Post and the Globe and Mail among other nationally and internationally respected publications publicly criticized your efforts to preserve order at the park known as Three Mile Bend in Red Deer. Even more astonishing is the fact that the next day, the park was crawling with officers looking for clues to your identity. Discharging a weapon within city limits is a crime no matter the species of the victim.

You know you are a fugitive right?

I know the officers at the very least want to give you a fine and set some charges against you, but it's the court of public opinion you should worry about. Oh and I am pretty sure the people in beaver costumes picketing the park a few days after the incident wouldn't be opposed to a little vigilante justice themselves.

But I wouldn't be overly concerned about a person masquerading as beaver chasing after you with a gun. The city has increased officer presence in the park now, just in case you weren't certain you got the right beaver. They all look pretty similar, and it would be a more horrendous crime to have you lay waste an entire colony to prove a point.

I really don't like what you did to that beaver or the image of  the city I live in.  Whether you brag it up and get caught like a dumb crook or just sober up and come clean, you should find a way to make restitution. I don't know how you can make it up to the beaver ( I am sure animal rights activists have some ideas for you there), but I know how you can make it up to the people of this city. I think you should be forced to declare that you are not representative of the men and women of Red Deer, because we are NOT a bunch of gun toting, vigilante red necks.

I am sincerely outraged!