Goodbye skirt!

What do you say when it’s over? Clearly, I can’t say hardly anything anymore without a near-breakdown. And the night before my last day at skirt! is probably not the best time to say goodbye. But, I’m simply out of time. So here I am writing and crying (hopefully) for the last time about leaving my job.

I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you that I was sad…incredibly sad. For three years and three months I have proudly been an editor for skirt!. And I can say, without a doubt, that holding this position has changed who I am in a number of profound ways so much that for a little while, I’m probably not going to know who I am without it.

Like a lot of new mothers, I chose to return to my career. I really thought that I could/wanted to do everything. And the truth is that I can’t/don’t want to. At first, it wasn’t all that different, working on my laptop with a sleeping baby at arms-length away. But now Isabella wants to “play” on the keyboard too and hit the computer’s off button…not to mention, she literally eats pages of my work. “Sorry I missed my deadline…the baby ate my interview notes.” Skirt! is all for women’s rights and family-friendly workplaces, but somehow I just don’t think that would jive.

While I know that this scenario (working while simultaneously taking care of an infant-turning-toddler) just can’t work for me right now, packing up, signing off, and walking out those doors for the last time breaks my heart.

Not wanting anyone to see my upset (again), I waited for my coworkers/friends to leave the office before I packed my personal belongings the day before yesterday.  It wasn’t much, a few pictures, stationary, cards, the orange Buddha Nikki sent me, and books. Those things were easy to box up. But I fought back tears as I picked up the “CONGRATS” balloon my mom delivered to me the day my first magazine went to press. I couldn’t help but recall how excited and proud that I was that day. Keeping it on my desk, that balloon often reminded me (especially in times of stress) that I was so lucky to have this job. “What am I going to do with this balloon now?,” I thought.

This morning as I prepared my daughter breakfast on my next to last day of work, I went back in the living room to find that Isabella had a new toy—my “CONGRATS” balloon. As I walked closer to her, she held up the balloon, clapped and congratulated me in her own little way, and reminded me how lucky I am to have her and my new job of full-time mommy.  

Thank you all so much for reading, for cheering me on through all of life’s ups and downs, and most of all, for encouraging me always to follow my heart. Though mine has led me home (for now), I know we’ll meet again!

Until then,

Peace, Love, and skirt!

Merry Glenne