545
viewsThe End of the Beginning
By MelissaB, Monday, February 15, 2010, 2 commentsI’ve been having a lot of anxiety lately. Instead of being excited, exhilarated or feeling as if I’m about to be let out of prison (not that I have any idea how that feels, but I can certainly imagine), I am anxious.
Call me crazy, but I’m planning to quit my job in 5 weeks. And, I may or may not have another job lined up before then.
This is something I’ve been planning for - and waiting for - for a very long time. But now that it’s getting close, I’m scared to death.
Fortunately, I’ve scrimped and saved for awhile now that I have about 2 years worth of living expenses to fall back on. So, I should be okay, right?
Plus, I have 2 interviews this week - both on the 17th. My lucky number. Who knows if something may work out with one or both of them? Wouldn’t it be great to have my choice of which offer is better for me, rather than taking the only offer I get? (Hopefully I'll get at least one offer though.)
One position is exactly what I do now, but it would be in Seattle. I’ve been daydreaming about life in Seattle - even if I just live there for a few years. How fun would it be to learn a new city, meet new people and explore a new part of the country? The company is very big into the environment which scores huge points in my book.
The other position is with a local company, but it would require travel to the northeast a couple times a month. It’s similar to what I do now, but it would definitely be a promotion. Oh, and it would be double what I make now! Holy crap! How awesome would that be?
Either of these positions would likely be good for me. Much better than the job I’m in now. What’s funny though is that I really feel in my bones that what I need right now is some time off. Time to do what I feel like for awhile. I’ve worked my ass off to get where I am with my career and to have money in the bank to have this type of flexibility and freedom.
If either of these positions work out and they want me to start right away, should I? Is that what’s best for me? In my heart I know that the answer is no. I desperately need some time off - even a month at this point - to reconnect with me. If they won’t wait that long, should I take the job anyway?
These are all questions I’ve been toying with for the past week or so. Hence, my anxiety.
I've also been thinking and planning to start my own business, but that’s very scary and exciting at the same time. Scary because it’s a huge risk, but exciting because why can’t I continue to do what I do now, but work for myself? Be my own boss. I can, but there are major risks initially in doing so.
How long will it take me to be successful? Will my business plan produce the results I’m looking for? Will all of my revenue streams be fruitful?
Ah.
I don’t know the answers to anything anymore. What I do know is that I’m quitting in 5 weeks whether I have the answers by then or not. I will figure it out as I go.
So, this is the end of the beginning. Or to the beginning. What will be the beginning of something wonderful. Something life changing. Something so much more fulfilling than my current job.
No matter how the pieces fall, I know in my heart that I’ll be okay. I know that this is what’s right for me. I know that if I take a new job right away, it will work out. Or, if I start my own company, it will also work out.
And if it doesn’t, I’ll know that I tried. I didn’t stay in a job that was sucking the life out of me. I took a risk and gave it my all.
A new beginning starts for me in 5 weeks. Even though I am anxious, I cannot wait to get started. As Robert Frost would say, I'm taking "the road less traveled." I hope in the future, I can look back and know that it "made all the difference."
Bookmark/Search this post with:
2 Comments
Nail biter. I am so excited
I read your post and
I read your post and immediately checked the name because I thought my best friend may have written this. After seeing that she didn't, I was immediately taken back to almost two years ago when this best friend of mine made the same choice you are making right now. Your blog was eerily similar to her situation at the time, all the way down to daydreaming about Seattle (she even went out for a test run). She too was in a soul sucking job and was completely exhausted, mentally, physically, emotionally, you name it! She made the choice to leave and felt comfortable with her decision, especially since like you, she had scrimped and saved and had a year or so worth of savings to back her up. Plus, she thought she could do some freelancing on the side for extra income so she didn't have to dip into all of her savings. Although she has not said she regretted her decision, let me give you the short version of her plight. After leaving her job and taking some much needed time to relax, she hit the freelance market and found very little jobs out there. When she did find that occasional job, the pay was so low, it wouldn't have come close to something she could survive on. After six months, she tearfully let her lease go on her beloved apartment and moved in with her parents, knowing that she would soon find a job. She soon realized this is not a job market to be taken lightly and that competition was fierce. Finally after landing a few interviews in the same town she left, she came back to go through the interviews, but not having any place to live, she stayed with friends while she interviewed and waiting. Savings running very low and options even lower, finally after four months of living with others, she landed a job. Her dream job? Of course not. It was the best of her options for her circumstances. And finally after working there for now almost four months, she is getting back on her feet and is able to start looking for a new apartment. Remember, she's still staying with friends. Like I said, it has been right at two years since she made her decision and left her job and while the few weeks she had to rest and reconnect with herself were wonderful, her life since then has been on hold. She has used her entire savings to stay afloat, so now there will be no new home or townhouse in the near future like she'd hoped and she is in another job that isn't really what she wanted to be doing. I say all this not to discourage you. Like I told her, you make the best decision for yourself that you can given what you have to work with. But I just want you to think about the realistic side to this decision, in addition as the wonderful possibilities that one can encounter when searching for something new. This can be a wonderful time for you personally, but please remember the job market we are in right now. I certainly hope you find what your looking for and that things turn out wonderfully for you, but I just wanted to share my friend's plight in hopes that you'll give the decision some heartfelt and realistic thought. Good Luck!
Participate More