The Car Complex

So, on the drive in to work this morning I saw a lot of interesting things, a beautiful sky, lovely flowers, and a woman in a skirt painting her toe nails- WHILE DRIVING A STRAIGHT DRIVE!

How is this even possible? Seriously,- how in the hell was she doing it? Escaped circus freak? Double jointed wonder of the world? Or, just a normal over worked mother of three who couldn't squeeze a pedicure in between the school play and dinnertime? It's crazy, the things we do in our cars, as if they naturally drive themselves or have blacked out windows so that no one can see. I have seen it all and seem to be guilty of a few things on the list as well.

Men shaving, women doing make-up, even people flossing their teeth or brushing- eeewww! And I know I am not the only one who suffered the back seat-spankings as a child. You know the ones- where your mom/dad gets so pissed off during a trip that instead of waiting to pull over for discipline, they swat behind themselves at you, seated in the back, with a waving motion. This in turn turns the child into a wild cat, hoping to escape, running out an back without a seatbelt- super safe for everyone involved I am sure.

We have developed a complex with our cars, a mentality that they are an extension of our homes. We eat there, we use it as a closet, and even as a hotel after a long night out. And don't even get me started on the hot-love-cars. At least buy some curtains to draw shut- I AM GOING TO WRECK PEOPLE! I can't help but look, and to me it almost seems fair. If you are going to makeout in a "room" with clear glass, in the middle of the day, while possibly putting me and the large number of other cars around you in danger- don't look at me like the skeezer for checking it out. I am bored in five o'clock traffic too!

None of us are truly victims though. I have committed most of the crimes listed- except the toe-nail painting, I am pretty sure my long legs would bust out a window or two in the process. I am just curious when all of this started. I know as a nation we are at a point where we multi-task as much as we breathe, but there had to have been a gap where people decided the hell with the safety of myself, my family, and everyone else I am going to eat, get ready, and spank my kids all in the 20 minute drive down hwy 85- I just don't have any other time. Really?