The Soulmate Debate

Soulmates... I spent many a slumber party flat on my back in an army green Coleman sleeping bag, going head to head with my BFFs over these elusive men. We ALL believed... believed "The One" was out there for each of us... our missing piece who would make our destinies fall into place the moment we locked eyes.

I remember actually worrying... (What if I miss him?! What if he walks right by and I'm too busy picking Double Bubble out of my braces?!! What if he's looking for me in Paris right this minute?!!!!!)

Then we grew up. What amazes me is this: some of us still believe. In a world where we wake up with strangers, where our hearts are ripped out by infidelity, disinterest and divorce, I actually know women who have married their first loves and remain gloriously, obliviously happy. I was not so lucky. 

In my twenty-five years, two men have told me I am their soulmate, and I no longer speak to either one. I also know a few fantastic folks who are so easygoing, so caring and so loyal that they could make anyone happy. It doesn't matter who they choose to share their lives with... their partners will never have a moments doubt about finding their One. Their nature makes them built for "happily ever after."

This mounting evidence had all but convinced me that soulmates were a childish sham,  but then I learned about Frida Kahlo. (She's one of my favorite artists and her life was extraordinary. If you're not already a fan, you should be! Look her up.) Gifted as she was, Frida wouldn't have been Frida without Diego... Diego Rivera, in her own words, her "creator and destroyer," but still, her One. I believe we all have a purpose, and I think some of us, like Frida, must have that special someone to light the spark and sustain the fire of our potential.

So again, soulmates... The conclusion I've arrived to is this: we don't all have them. I know that doesn't sound very romantic, but it's certainly not a bad thing. We don't all need them, and those who do need them for something far greater than riding off into the sunset. I don't know where I fall in this great divide. Honestly, I don't give it much thought anymore. I guess it's one of those things that will unfold on it's own (unless he's waiting in Paris, of course).

I don't know what you believe, but I hope you believe it with all of your heart. I see how waiting/looking for "The One" could cause a lot of anxiety, but it would be awfully romantic if it ever paid off. (Very "Slumdog Millionaire.")