(S)he aims too high...

It's the most romantic, yet completely irritating quote from one of my favorite movies... William spies his lady love for the very first time and is bewitched... high on love, he's soaring, until his pal Chaucer catches wind and yanks him back to earth, saying "Oh William, you aim too high," ... but it's too late. Our hero circles, her face still burning in his mind. "If there's any other way to aim, I don't know it."

Of course, there's a happy ending: the poor peasant wins the heart of the beautiful rich girl. Hearts all aflutter. What a great love story... about class warfare. 

There's something sickening in the dichotomy of that romantic comedy. I'm not stupid... I get that there wouldn't be much of a story if he was the crowned Prince of England, but still! That line! (It's been eating at me since 2001!)

The problem is that I've lived this story, secondhand. 

There's nothing wrong with stating the obvious.  Yes, he is poor. Yes, she is wealthy. The rub is that her money makes her "better," not "different." 

William is happy, fulfilled (until he gets hooked on her, anyway,) and has dear friends that love him. But even with all that good, he's still beneath her. I know many girls, guys, men and women who have either bought into this kind of thinking, or have been criticized for not buying in. 

I watched a really great woman get relentlessly pursued by a really great guy for over a year. They have tons in common, but she never ever even considered giving him a shot. (Honest to God, I think she was waiting for Brad Pitt, or at least Benjamin Bratt.) People gave her HELL about it... behind her back, of course. "Just who does she think she is?" and "Does she KNOW what she looks like?" and all sorts of monsterous slams... (Though I do believe she thought he was "aiming too high" when it came to courting her.) The men she's into might as well live on Mars... Their lifestyles and character seemed worlds away from the way she lives... and I've never understood why she can't look at things rationally, and see that she'd never be able to share her life with a man like that.  

On the opposite side, there are people who are too scared to take their shot, because they think the object of their affection is truly "out of their league." It breaks my heart that anyone would think they're too low to be loved by the one that they desire. 

I recoil at the concept of "aiming too high." Why can't people just look around, and realize that we're all standing on leveled ground... see that we're different, not dominated... decide that it's "just not going to work out" because they're too different, not because one is superior.

When it comes to money, looks, and the other superficial markers we use to create a pecking order, different isn't bad or better. Different just is, and it should never shift our aim.