We Love You, My Dear Child, Both of Us

 
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Dearest child,

Your mom and I love you. Both of us adore every hair on your sweet head, every cell in your precious being. Togethor we embraced every movement of you, when you learned to walk, talk, stumble and rise up to shine your light.

We loved you even when we hated (to be honest) what parenting brought, the exhaustion, the frustration, the gut punching suffocating worry, the wonder, all of that, we loved you because that's what love for a child does, it transcends the not-so-great parts of raising kids, it magnifies our deepest and most damaging screw ups and forces us to dig in our heels to show our highest self.   

Dear child you are part of us even though you don’t come from your mom’s DNA, even though society says she’s not your mother and that this thing we have, our family, isn’t right in God’s eyes.   

But she like I, have watched you fall, cry, coo, giggle, smile and marvel at the merest things in the world we no longer notice, shiny doorknobs, piles of ants, rusty car parts that “look like Wall-e,” bent milk cartons or torn papers doing jumping jacks in the wind, things and bugs and objects that for adults move into the invisible and jaded graveyard of daily awareness.

You do that for us dear child because it is what children do for adults, they unwrap the banal and common parts of the world and bathe them in renewed fascination and hope, unearthing memories they once had of why an ant is really, pretty damn cool.

That purity transcends the ugliness that says we are not a genuine family.

And now dear child, you are both mine and your mother’s according to the new law that let her adopt you. We’re not bitter for the struggle we had to get here, we’re glad we're finally here. Today your mother and I can rest easier knowing you’re more protected under the rights of parenting because now you have two legal parents.

Today the world says, at least more than it did yesterday, that this, what we have, is stamped and verified, even if some say it’s not natural. 

But genuine love is always natural; it cannot be refuted, as the sun’s rays cannot be refuted.

And we already knew that no matter if parental love flowed from a man and a woman, a woman and a woman or a man and a man, that our love for you was the highest kind; we felt this despite the loud voices screaming that God says what we have should only flow between a man and a woman. We knew our God loved us, loved you, loved We, as one and in our entirety, without expecting us to change or repent, or lie or pretend.  

Dear child you are of the best kind of love there is, a flowing spirit of the divine that can never be marred by the hate of others who don’t feel at their core what we feel every moment we watch you, for if they did, they would not question what we know -- that no finer good can be found in the world than the purity of parental love.

So if one day you walk unaware into a well of hatred, mockery or vile words meant to harm you just because you have two moms, remember that the purest form of love, that of a parent towards her child will always hold up against the oppressive weight of ignorance and hate.  

What we have for you dear child can never be weakened or defiled because it is as infinite as energy, even if divided or bombed, genuine love never dissolves.

Our love is impenetrable to the closed, dry or confused hearts. We, the three of us are forever rock solid; we are immune, not to the painful sear of intolerance, but to it wrecking our hearts. Your love strengthens our love, engulfing and dissolving the darker sides of humanity with indomitable majesty.

Remember that dear child, and you will remember I promise, all you ever need.   

Love always,

Your Two Moms

Written in honor of gay and lesbian couples in Florida who are adopting their children (FL ban overturned in October). Boys Have Two Moms, Now It’s Official

Note:  From time to time my husband, a low key, non-activist but open-minded guy who used to not “feel right for some reason about gay marriage but mostly doesn’t care” (now fully supports it) wonders why I have such a passion for gay and lesbian rights.

I also have passion for helping uncover the triggers behind the autism epidemic yet my child doesn’t have autism or developmental delays of any kind.

What captures your heart is what triggers your heart.

I'm drawn towards honoring people for who they were born to be, not who we decide they should be and to empowering people to live a healthy, vibrant and joyful life. Our inner nudge doesn’t have to stem from our own immediate need; it's can be something that strikes our heart chord.

And, you never know when you will beg for the gates of acceptance and new ideas to bring relief, comfort, security or peace to your life.  Ask Nancy Reagan how she felt about stem cell research before her husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.

Ask her now.

We’re all connected, our needs and “theirs,” yet our cries may look and sound different.

When will you cry a song you never thought you would cry?

And then, who will listen?