My Sister’s Murderer

Your grief is our grief. Know we are here for you today and always. You are everything I aspire to be. ((hugs))

Kim I have no words that will make you feel whole again. I could not believe it when I heard - this is an unspeakable tragedy you have suffered. I cannot imagine. I have prayed for you and your family every day since it happened. I wish I could physically wrap my arms around you and hold you as you cry.

You have a nationwide family of SkirtSisters who love you and support you.

How beautiful and heartbreaking.  We all wish we could ease your pain and know that we can't.  All we can do is continue to love you and we do.  Laurie

I have been thinking about you so much, as I know the rest of the skirt! family has. I know that in no way can help heal you. This was easily the most moving thing I've read in years and my heart is aching in my chest. What a gorgeous woman. 

As I've told you, I have absolutely nothing to compare your pain to. I would say that I understand, but I don't. These words, however, speak powerfully to what you're going through.

Murder is the most invasive thing you could do to someone. Not only do you end their life, but you end the lives of everyone who loves them. No one has the right to decide when a life is over except for God.

Honey, I'm constantly thinking of and praying for you and your family. Don't keep your feelings bottled up; continue to write them out. Journal your entire grief process, even if you don't decide to publish it.

If I could take away your pain, I would. Just take each "rotten minute" one breath at a time, and know that we love you to pieces. That's a beautiful picture of Kay.

<3

...and love you. 

Kim,

As others have said above, there are no words. Your sister was a beautiful spirit full of life, love and hope. You were blessed to have each other. And you are right, now your life will never be the same.

I pray for you in time that you find peace and calm, and a "new normal" When you are ready, carry on and live for both you and your sister so that she may still live through you.

Death is an ending. But it doesn't have to be the end. Her spirit will live forever with you and those who were blessed to know her.

Much love and hugs,

Jody 

Kim,  My heart goes out to you and your family. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us in your time of grief.

Babs

your strength and voice are exquisitely clear. you are loved and cherished right now. i hope some of the energy your skirt sisters have and will continue to send to you is making it's way to you.

you are ever in our hearts, minds and prayers wrapped in warmth, love, friendship and compassion.

My darling sweet friend,

like we all say, no words can offer the ocmfort that will help you heal now. But your journey will not be a solo act - I must tell you that all the love and concern that came from your skirt sisters was extraordinary, yet not surpising.

We are here for you. lvoe ya. elizabeth

oh no. no! i don't know you but the first blog i ever read of yours was about your sister and how much you loved her. i am so sorry. i lit a candle for kay and one for you and one for your heart, which is so broken. i have no idea what you are going through but you are not alone in your grief. we will all gather you as a beloved.

 I won't say anything that I've already said to you other than that we love you. I think about you every day and send my love to you on the breeze. We can't fill the darkness for you - but we can let you know we are here. xoxo

My thoughts are with you in this time of grief.

I don't know anything helpful or comforting to say.  I love you.  I love your sister.  I am praying for all of you.

That's all.

I am so sorry for you and your family.
I folded a paper crane and said a prayer for your sister and your family. Its yellow like the birds you hope she heard. If you want, I can send it to you, or the peace memorial in japan if you like, until then I'll let her fly by my window and hold you guys in my heart.

As I've already told you, there are no words that we can give you Kim, there are simply no words.  But these words that you just wrote are so beautiful, so raw, so real.  And I cannot imagine anyone reading them without weeping for you and for Kay and for your parents and for her 3 boys starting adulthood without their beautiful mother.

So glad to hear your beautiful voice again Kim.  Please keep writing.  It will help you to heal.  I hope you can feel all of our love...

here for you, Kim, and with you in love and grief.  Thank you for sharing what was in your heart.  May the writing help you to heal.

I know how much you love her. 

I am so sorry.

I am profoundly sorry for your loss. This just isn't fair! You are in my thoughts and prayers!

S. J.

I am so, so sorry. I can't imagine trying to make sense of something so senseless, but as so many people said before me, your words convey so much. To lose a sister, so violently will take time and remarkable strength. We're here and ready to read as you heal. The picture of Kay is beautiful. Your words are a tribute to her. 

Kim- This is unfathomable??? I am so sorry for your loss of your beautiful sister. I am speechless with sorrow for you. Please know you have friends out here who mourn for you and with you. xxooxxoo

 Beautiful, sweet, Kim,

I cannot tell you how many times I have thought of you, Kay, your sons, her sons, your mother, your father, your husband, your family over the past two weeks. There are no words for what you have been through and are going through. It is so unfair that he would take her from you all. 

My heart aches for you. For Kay. While there are no words, there is so much love for you, Kim. We are all here whenever you need us, however you need us. We are here. And, we love you.

Melissa

I've not met you in person but I feelhow well you understand and work to create strong sisterhoods. And your shock and grief over the loss of your own sister are reverberating. I am so very sad for you. I don't know where you go from here but you've got many people like me who are here to support you. Much love and sympathy to you and your family. Karen

This is so unfair; I am just so very sorry for your loss.  Even though I don't really know you, because of your writing I feel like I do.  Please know that I am thinking about you and praying for you. I wish there was something to say to make this better; there absolutely are no words.

to every God I think might have some pull. My God. Your God. His Son. Mother Nature. The Goddesses... any energy that might bring you even a moment of peace ... a smile, just for a second. That thing we call HOPE around the corner. Okay, maybe a very loooonnnng corner but all of us skirt-sisters, all of the people who love you, your saintly mother, your sister, her kids -- everyone who has known you forever or, like me, only knows you through emails and facebooks and your most moving words always no matter what the topic you tackle -- all of us? We represent that HOPE.

Love love love to you. -- Gin

 I can feel your grief...I don't know what happens next for you.  But you're a great writer.  I am so very sorry...

I have tears in my eyes right now as I'm writing this.  Oh my gosh, Kim, words cannot describe how much my heart goes out to you and your family right now for such a painful loss. 

Thank you for writing about this and for sharing it with us.  My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. 

Love,

Kimberly

 What a sad situation. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope writing about it helps with the healing process. Sometimes the feelings of grief we have are almost more than we can bear.

....please know that every word that reaches us puts you deeper and deeper in our hearts.  Good to hear your voice again.  Keep it coming.  We need you here.  Sending love...... T.

My dear friend, I had no idea or expectation as to when we'd hear your voice again.  Words are so much a part of you that silence must be torture, yet I wasn't sure how to begin with them again.  I am so glad you have them and are sharing them with us, probably even before they feel like they make sense.  As raw as your emotions are now, your love for your sister seeps from them and the senselessness of the end of her life resonates in my ears.

God has blessed your Mom with a gift bigger than any I know.  To silently share those emotions with the very person who's child took her child's life is something I can not imagine many having the grace to do. Just today I was commenting with malice about the line in his obituary about being a gentle, peaceful soul.  

God blessed you with your beloved sister.  You shared her with us through your blogs and we loved your relationship.  I pray that your words now will be heard by women who never imagine the man they love so much could do something so senseless to them.  

I am glad you have your words.  Use them often.

Much love and many thanks for sharing your family with us.  You are all in my thoughts and prayers.

Kim, your essay touched me deeply.  Kay had a fabulous deep friendship with you.  You two were truely soul sisters.  What a gift!  Let love surround you!   Joan

Dear Kim

I am so sorry to hear of your loss.  My deepest condolences.  You will be in my thoughts. Thank you for finding the strength to share your story with us.

Kim, all I can do is pray for healing and eventual peace for you and all of your family, and wish that this, in some way, will help you emerge from this dark time.  Life will never be the same for you, most people can only dream of having such a close bond with a sister,,,,,but to have it taken away so tragically........Peace.................................. 

My dearest Kim,

I wish there was a way I could reach out over the long distance from my heart to yours and hold you while you cry. I am so sorry. I can't say that I "know how you feel"  because that would be bullshit. I don't know and I can't even imagine how deep the pit of your sorrow is. Please know if you want to talk to someone, I am here for you. I will send you a private message on Facebook with my email and my cell phone number. I am proud to call you a friend. I love you.

Beverly

Like so many others have already said, I've got tears in my eyes reading this. Whatever you need, whatever you need to write, we're all here to listen/read and love you.  My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

I can't imagine what you are going through...My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you.

~Laura

I recently just joined skirt! so I know that I am just a complete stranger to you. But I want you to know that you and your family are in my thoughts. You are such a strong person to be able to share this with us!

I remember your essay Big Jugs & Jagger Lips and had to go back and reread it after I saw this.

I can't even imagine what you are experiencing. Know that we are here for you if you need us.

I know we can't bring you the comfort you so need right now. I wish I could do something nice for you, anything. I don't even know how to address your pain. I've read your blogs enough to know you are loved by many, and I hope those around you are at least a glimmer of hope right now.

I have a sister/best friend, and I cannot fathom what it would feel like to lose her. My brain malfunctions at the thought.

Thank you so much for sharing. You made me want to value and cherish every day I have with her even more. I am praying for you, and your sister's name is on my heart.

I read this a few days ago and my heart ached for you and your family, but I didn't know what to say. No one ever knows what to say or do in light of such a senseless, tragic event, but your beautiful writing will hopefully help in your healing. My thoughts and prayers go out to you.