"polly, want a pessimist?"

I've felt frustrated lately and I'm not sure why. I wouldn't say I'm in a funk, per se, but I would say that I'm a little super-sensitive right now and if you're going to be a glass half-full type of person around me I may just grab your glass from your hands and chug down whatever you're sipping to spite you.

I apologize in advance. Actually, I don't. You may have deserved it.

It's a little funny ... this post coming after my previous one on being aware of how we treat people ... but we all have our moments when we just want to be left alone ... when we just want to vent, although not really to anyone in particular because we don't really care what that person has to say; they probably weren't really listening anyway.

But this is a little different. I am definitely, definitely, definitely aware of this negative aura I know I'm exuding--and I don't want to be this way. I know it's not fun to hang around Negative Nancys. It seems that their unhappiness has a slimy way of rubbing off on anyone within a ten-mile radius. You know the saying: misery loves company. I beg to differ. Misery hates company. And crying babies. And people who stand too close. And the sweater you put on today.

One of the ways I deal with these, um ... moods ... is by listening to really good music or by eating really bad food. Or I go buy women's magazines and then hit the gym. I find a corner in the cardio room where no one else is working out and I get into my own zone. Usually about halfway through this fast-paced unwind session, I start to feel 100 times better. I think I even remember how to smile. Hello, endorphins. Goodbye, excess water weight. Whatever it is, it feels good.

Today I happened to be in one of those moods and so I headed over to Walgreen's to buy a copy of the March Allure magazine. Julie Roberts is on the cover; she looks absolutely gorgeous. I went to the gym, found a vacant machine, and as I got into an elliptical-based rhythm and turned each page, I could feel myself relaxing and starting to feel ... OK. Better. I could breathe.

Julia's interview was refreshing. She was open and honest and candid. Coming from her though, what more would you expect? One of the things the interviewer asked was, "Have you heard about Gwyneth Paltrow's new lifestyle advice website, Goop?" She hadn't. Neither had I. She said she wanted to check it out. So did I.

When I got home, I grabbed a bottle of water, hopped onto my laptop, and typed in www.goop.com. I loved the site! Basically it's Gwyneth's outlook on living happy and healthy and being aware of yourself and of your surroundings. She talks about shopping and travel and food and family and everything else in between, too. She also sends out random newsletters on what's touching her life at that time. I clicked on this month's newsletter which was all about feeling "spent." (http://goop.com/newsletter/22)

How appropriate, I thought.

I checked out a few of her archived newsletters and one, in particular, struck a cranky chord within. "Thoughts on Pessimism." There were some really eye-opening points of view in there from a few of Oprah's besties and I urge you to check out the site, or at least skim over that newsletter, http://goop.com/newsletter/4), if you have the time.

I closed my laptop, took a deep breath, and stared out the window. Of course, it was gray and raining outside but that's not what I focused on. Instead, I saw a chubby, American Robin shaking its groove thang on a skinny branch, literally singing in the rain--I had to laugh. A sign of spring. A sign of hope. I decided then and there to make a conscious effort to dissolve my negative energies as soon as they start percolating by being present in the moment and by trying to open up my ironclad heart. Anything is possible and hey, it could be fun.

I'll refill your water glass, too.