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viewsSome things I'd tell teenager me if I went back in time
By JodyGrownup, Sunday, May 8, 2011, 1 comments- Your legs and boobs have stopped growing. Yup. Accept it.
- Do not gossip. Nothing good comes from it. Teenage girls having two faces is as natural as getting the life curse of monthly periods. So just don’t.
- You. Are. Not. Invincible. Seriously. Tap the breaks on the twisty, turny country roads.
- Smile more often. Even at the grumpy nuns.
- Study for your freshman year biology final, okay? Don’t be the girl the teacher tisk tisks over when you panic and identify an insect under a microscope as “a bug.”
- Don’t stop thinking your parents are superheroes. They still are.
- Student Council is good for you. Drop the grumbling over having to do so much work. It’s worth it.
- No matter how cute you think that ginormous t-shirt with a big-eyed, smiley pig and a chuckling cow on it is, it is not. One day, you will be at track practice and the all-boys school track team will arrive unexpectedly and you will nearly pass out when one of the sprinters smirks and says, “I think my little brother has that shirt. He’s nine.”
- Dawson’s Creek is unrealistic in every way. (Dawson looks like he’s twenty-five years old! Helllooo?)
- You go TO AN ALL-GIRLS SCHOOL so drop the self-pity over not having a date to the homecoming dance.
- Listen to the journalism teacher when she says, “Never, ever stop writing, Miss Lamb.” Capisce? Remember that after college when you throw writing on the backburner for YEARS.
- Pay more attention in Spanish class. When you land in a college course, everyone will be either Mexican or have traveled to Spain and you will be like, “Um, hola.”
- Exchange phone numbers with the cute guy at the writing competition. You’ll run into him in college and feel the same spark so why not speed it along.
- Despite what you’ve read in smut magazines and seen in Hollywood’s crapola, the perfect body doesn’t exist. And remind your classmates who eat nothing but celery for lunch that guys actually don’t dig the twiggy, starved supermodel look so much.
- Prom will be disappointing if you think it’ll be some magical night. Really, it’s a lot like Sweetest Day…made up to make people spend money and stress out over having some grand time.
- Hang out with your little sister as much as you can. She'll grow up sooooo fast.
- Careful when you hydrate before cross-country races. You don’t need to drink eight gazillion gallons on race day, despite what your crazy British coach says. This will only lead to darkened little blue race shorts and a burning face when the boys’ teams cheer you on along before finish line. And whatever you do, do not have a you-know-my-name shocked expression. Good Lord! Get a grip!
- Keep being silly. Soak up every second of those insides-twisting bursts of laughter with your best friend.
- Freshman Jody, play it cool for goodness sake when that guy you’re obsessing over FINALLY asks you dance, please! When he asks what you like to do for fun, don’t have a mind blank out and dash away (my face still reddens at the memory of this).
- It is not the end of existence as you know it when you can’t nail parallel parking right away. You’ll still pass your test.
- Everyone has let out a sneeze-induced fart and made the snooty-pants girls giggle at some point in their lives so don’t sweat it.
- Don’t date Older Boy just because your best friend is dating his best friend and you think it’d make such a cute how-we-met story. You really don’t like him at all. Duh! Yeesh! I kind of want to punch you right now.
- Pay more attention to Mom and don’t, for goodness sake, get mad one day and smash a peanut butter sandwich on the kitchen wall. You will be dunked in a self-imposed bucket of remorse every time you walk by the tiny grease mark that remains today.
- You’re pretty wise to have figured this out long before a lot of grownups do: Keep on showing the world you, the real you – not some girl molded into someone you think you should be because your classmates and Dawson’s Creek say so. Keep it up.
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1 Comments
Jody, ~You will be a VERY
Jody,
~You will be a VERY wise mother some day.:) xx
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