I'm 19; I want to have a baby.

Girl, I am a planner/control freak at heart but life has thrown some of the best surprises at me. When I was 19, I didn't have marriage or babies on my mind. I was focused on a teaching career. I was engaged on my 21st birthday and married the following year to my GREAT surprise. Because of parental issues (mine divorced for 20 years at that time and his mom having served his dad separation papers) we eloped a year early, NOT the big white ballgown I was drooling over with my girlfriends wedding I had started planning. When all my friends were getting married and having babies a couple years after we got married, we were just setting down roots in Atlanta, a move we would have loved to roll around in our minds, but would NEVER really do. Kids came 4 years into our marriage (a big surprise to those who asked "how pregnant is she" when we eloped.) and we LOVED every minute of being "married singles"/not having to line up a babysitter to go to dinner/being able to run to Disney World to use our annual passes for a long weekend just because we feel like it. Oh yeah, and I had spent a lot of my youth wishing for death to take me at my prime, 36. I'm 37 now. Don't get so busy planning YOUR life that you don't leave room for the guy and life. And when your plans don't come to fruition, don't stress. Trust me, life always has something more exciting for you if you can let go and enjoy it!

Yes. I learned a few years ago to never actually sit down and try to plan anything. The things I were saying in the blog are things i would like to happen, but I know probably aren't going to happen exactly like that. Life always has some crazy twists and turns to it.

It's ok to say that this is what you want. It's not how I would do it. But MANY of my friends had babies young and many still haven't had them. If being a mother is the MOST important thing to you, than it is. You can't change that. I DO hope you'll wait till you graduate b/c trying to finish school with a baby has gotta be hard...and then, well there's job hunting with a baby after grad, that can be hard too. And then raising the baby on early 20-something salaries, that can be hard too. But I know a little how you feel b/c my clock is definitely ticking and when it begins ticking, sometimes that's all you can hear.

I definitely understand different people's viewpoints. I've been saying this and discussing this with my family since I was around 16 years old. My whole family knows that I want to be a young mom. I don't think 24 is that young. That age gives me enough time to graduate (I'll have just turned 21), party as a 21 year old, and land myself a job for a few years. Of course, with the economy and all that stuff it may be different. I want to be married when I'm like 22 or 23, ideally. However, I may not even have a boyfriend then. It all just depends. I wouldn't mind waiting to have kids when I'm 26 or 27 or whatever. I just want to be a young mom because the younger I am when I have the kids, the more years I'll be able to be with them. I know, sounds weird, but it's kind of true. But everyone is different; everyone wants different things. None of my friends want to have kids young. My boyfriend does, but after we graduate college, there's no telling where our lives will take us.

You know, my plan when I was younger was so different - I didn't want to be married, didn't want kids, maybe when I was in my mid-thirties I'd consider adopting a child. I wanted to finish college, get a graduate degree, and become established in a career and successful.
Real life? Met someone, fell in love, married him 4 months after meeting, had a baby at 19. Still married to him 12 1/2 years later, just had our second child, but I still haven't finished my bachelor's degree, much less any graduate studies. But, I'm happy.