Being a Rebel

I'm dyeing my hair pink! I do this about once a year; I think I do it because I need a change, and this is an easy, non-permanent change I can make. The dye is bright, bright pink. I typically use a different brand, but they were sold out, so I had to buy Splat- Fetish Pink. 

What is the change I am seeking? I'm not too sure. I am still in the process of deciding whether I am happy or not. Do I break up with my boyfriend? Do I stay with him? I don't know. 

Am I pretending to be happy? I don't know.

I don't know anything. 

But also, I dye my hair because my parents actually don't really mind it; they don't really like it, but they don't say "no." I think it's somewhat pathetic that I am 19 years old and have to rely on what my parent's opinions are... not on every decision; I have a lot of leeway to make my own decisions, but when it comes to things like excessive piercings, tattoos and all that good stuff, they don't like them. Since they are helping me pay off college loans once I graduate, it is important to keep them happy with my life choices.

However, I love, love, love being able to express myself through my looks. My body is a canvas that people see and, of course, they judge, but honestly I don't care what strangers have to think of me. I understand the implications certain looks have, and I am comfortable with them. I want to be friends with people who accept me for who I am as a person, not based off what I look like.

I really wish my parents would understand this. I wish they would see that I think about things, and I am able to make responsible decisions. Eventually, when I am independent, I am going to do what I want with my body because it's not fair for me to not be myself. At some time, my family is just going to have to get used to it. I know they have values, but they're different than mine. I know whatever I do, they are still going to love me. But, if it really bugs them that much that they stop supporting me or talking to me, then that is their decision. How long am I not supposed to be myself? If they let a piercing or tattoo come in the way of their relationship with me; if they don't want to support me or approve of me just because of some expression, then that's stupid on their part. A tattoo/piercing/dyed hair does NOT change who I am as a person, and I think they will understand that.

Just because I am comfortable enough to express myself so visually, does not make me a bad person. I know a lot of people are afraid of people who are covered in tattoos or w/e. Seriously, it's stupid. Our society is so judgmental that it's disgusting. Don't decide to judge someone just because they express themselves through their body art. You will miss out on getting to know a lot of amazing people. 

When I have kids, I am going to let them express themselves. Whether they want to wear chains on their  neck or have their lip pierced.. w/e. People should be allowed to be themselves. And in Austin, people are allowed to be themselves in more circumstances. Of course, I will teach my kids that there are consequences to how you portray yourself.